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Behaviour/development

when did yr toddler stop napping completely?

25 replies

mumsgonemad123 · 06/07/2011 23:22

......and was it a natural transition or did you instigate it?

i have twin boys who have just turned two, they currently nap for as much as two hours in the early afternoon, say 1-3pm, but i know they are capable of managing without a nap as has happened occasionally.

We are having a tough time with them at bedtime, its often 9pm or even later before they are both sound asleep, we would love it to be 7pm but they are just not in the slightest bit tired at that time after a daytime nap.

Should i drop their nap? I know this would give us back our evenings and they would be asleep for 7pm but am worried they still really may need to nap and would struggle to know what to do with them to keep them entertained all day particularly the late afternoon stretch when they would be grizzly!!! its feels like a decision between which is the lesser of two evils IYKWIM

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flowersinherhair · 06/07/2011 23:40

My little girl was 2 and a half, I agonised over stopping the nap for ages but got so sick of the battles at night time, she was still up past ten most nights. It was also a battle trying to get her to nap in the day...she wanted her nap at around 3pm which was too late.
The first few days keeping her awake were quite easy, she got tired around the fourth day but I kept going (felt really guilty as well). After a week she was used to it, and now sleeps from 6pm-7.30am.
She was like a different child once she was having more sleep, sooo much better behaved and calm which was an unexpected bonus! Even when having naps her total sleep for the day was only around 10 hours altogether and I read somewhere that children of this age should be having 12+hours, so cutting the nap was the best thing for us.
With regards to entertaining them all day, I tend to have quiet mornings and busy afternoons if that makes sense...we will potter around the house in the morning then go somewhere in the afternoon, however, some of my friends have busy mornings and then have quiet time in the afternoon where their dcs will sit and read/watch a dvd. Hope this helps x

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mumsgonemad123 · 07/07/2011 14:45

thankyou that is really encouraging and the thought of 6pm till 7.30am OMG total bliss!! at the moment its sometimes 9.30pm before they will be asleep and i am so completely at the end of my tether by that time. i just want my evenings back. the thing with my twins is that they very much need parenting to sleep and they act out so much, feeding off each others behaviour. it wouldnt be so bad if i could leave them but i cant.

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Galena · 07/07/2011 16:02

With DD (2.3) if I let her have more than an hour in the day (lunchtime) she won't go to bed at night - except if, for example, she's poorly or done something particularly energetic in the morning (like today when we went swimming). Today I gave her an hour and a quarter nap.

She can cope without a nap for a day or two but then becomes vile. By restricting naps we've worked out what works for us. You might like to try restricting naps for a week or so and see if that helps?

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Galena · 07/07/2011 16:04

One day I'll learn to type a complete post before pressing 'post'! I meant to say she sleeps from 7:30pm till 8:30am

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Eglu · 07/07/2011 16:07

DS1 was just over 2. DS2 was 3, all children are very different. It sounds though that yours are aready if they aren't sleeping at night now.

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wearymum200 · 07/07/2011 20:05

DS1 16 months, DD2 2.4. DD2 will still have a quick snooze on my lap on days when she really needs it, but I never let her have more than half an hour. It is very much horses for courses, but if you want your evenings back then cutting right down on day naps is the way forward! DD2 sleeps from 630-6 approx.

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dycey · 07/07/2011 22:06

I think if they are pushing bedtime then you can go for it... My ds was only tired in the pm for about 4 days before he adjusted and now I am thrilled that he goes to sleep pronto at 8pm and doesn't get up til 6.30 or 7 or later.....

Get your evenings back! I dreaded biting the bullet but am so glad I did!

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dycey · 07/07/2011 22:07

O and he played up at bedtime from 23 months and I eventually dropped the nap at 27 months

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Bicnod · 07/07/2011 22:15

OI GALENA - so glad your DD is sleeping through now - O finally started sleeping better at Christmas (he turned 2 in April so it's been a long haul). I'm currently 39 weeks with DC2 and consoling myself with the thought that he/she can't possibly be as horrendous a sleeper as O was. Hope all is well with you :)

thread hijack over, sorry OP Blush

FWIW, DS is 2.3 and is in the process of dropping his nap. He only has half an hour after lunch now or he won't settle until 8 or 9pm and is up in the night and when he skips it (usually when he's at CM or out for the day doing something fun) he sleeps longer and better. I'm clinging on to it a bit though as want some daytime respite when DC2 arrives.

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jetmonkey · 07/07/2011 22:15

glad I happened upon this thread - dd didn't go to sleep til 9 tonight (she is 22 mths and usually naps 1-2 hours after lunch) I may have to psych myself up for dropping the nap but its good to hear all the advice / experiences Smile

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Skillbo · 07/07/2011 22:52

DD was just over 18 months - I was really worried as thought she was too young and 'needed' her nap but turns out I was wrong - it was such a battle even getting an hour out of her that we decided just to see how she coped without. Turns out, better than we'd thought and whilst she might get a bit cranky before bed, she's always ready at about 7.30ish and sleeps though till at least 8 most days!

All so different and with No2 on the way, I am just praying we luck out again!

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Skillbo · 07/07/2011 22:53

Oh - and filling the time feels like it's going to be so hard but it's actually not too bad and you obviously get the extra time at night which seems more precious somehow!

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Tiggles · 07/07/2011 22:55

All 3 of my DSs dropped their nap (their instigation) at 18months. I was very disappointed with DS3 that he did too - he was the only one who had always been a great sleeper and I was sure he would want to nap forever!

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jugglingmug · 07/07/2011 22:58

DD2 has just turned 2 also. If she is going to have a nap then she has 20 minutes, and only before lunch. Otherwise she won't sleep at night until about midnight!

I try to avoid car journeys in the afternoon if she's not had a nap in the morning...can't keep her awake if we go more than about 5 minutes.

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belindarose · 08/07/2011 07:38

We're at this stage too with DD, 22 mo. She's refused naps all this week apart from 2 mini ones in the car. We're not getting the marvellous long night sleep that others seem to be having yet though. Up at 5am this morning for first time in months, so probably overtired I think. Quite a bit of car time today, so maybe she'll catch up. You start to get used to something and they change all over again!

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Galena · 08/07/2011 07:50

Hiya Bicnod! Glad to hear you're getting mire sleep. I hadn't remembered ours are almost exactly the same age. She was 2 in April too. Bless her, various issues - asthma, cerebral palsy, but she's still cheerful and cute! Congrats on dc2! Hope it's quickish and not too painful!

Sorry OP, long time no type... hijack over!

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yawningbear · 08/07/2011 15:41

We are coming to the end of the first week with no lunchtime nap. DD is 2.7 and bedtime has been a battleground for far too long but I had been clinging to the nap for dear life as have a 5 month old as well and I really needed it! I also thought her behaviour would really suffer as previously when we have missed a nap by 4pm she could be dreadful. Anyway so far so good, it hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would. We usually have nursery or a group every morning and then afternoons will stay home or meet friends/park etc. The last couple of days we haven't had anything planned at all and I have found going out over the lunchtime period has worked really well and broken up what is otherwise a dreadfully long day as DD wakes early too. Previously she would fall asleep after a huge long battle at around 9-9.30, last few days it has taken approx 10 minutes once she is in her bed and she has been asleep by 7.30 at the latest. Tonight I am going to try getting her down by 7. I have had to give her more snacks than usual to keep her awake and even resorted to wafting a Tunnocks Teacake (the best thing in the world according to DD) under her nose to rouse her when she had a cat nap on the sofa yesterday at around 4pm but I am assuming that her body will adjust to the new regime soon! Have to say it has been wonderful to have the evenings back. As others have suggested if you don't feel ready to give it up altogether you could maybe try restricting it to an hour or less or having a few days where you have one every other day whilst you wean them off it. Good luck!

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Clarabumps · 08/07/2011 15:51

I'd maybe try reducing the nap or dropping it altogether. My ds2 (2.4) sometimes goes for a wee nap in the morning around ten for an hour. this seems to revive his for the afternoon. Both my ds sleep from 7-7( well 6.45 in these light mornings) DS1 (4) goes to bed at 7 and sometimes isn't tired but I make sure he's at least in his bed resting. then he drops off to sleep. You need your nights back! it'll make you feel human again.
Dp suggested putting ds1 to bed at 7.30 a few weeks ago and I responded with the suggestion that he can put him to bed then as my childcare shift expires after 12 hours and I have to start on the washing/cleaning/ironing/ dinner making shift...needless to say..he's still going to bed at 7.
Its a killer though and seems like the whole day especially when you have twins! best of luck xx

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SingOut · 08/07/2011 19:02

My DS was about 2 years 4 months and he dropped it himself, just stopped sleeping during naptime and would play loudly instead. I was crushed Grin He's always been a good sleeper though and sleeps at least 7pm-7am, sometimes 7pm-8am.

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mumsgonemad123 · 08/07/2011 22:28

big thanks everyone for yr replys, its just great to know what others have done. was 9.45pm tonight before both asleep ggrrrrr!! they had napped till 3.30 in the afternoon. i think i am deffo going to try to stop the naps, give it a go for a few days and see what happens. I really REALLY need my evenings back. Am not going to bed myself till midnight because after they are finally asleep i have stuff to do around the house and need some me time before i go to bed. i so need things to change.

just to add difficulty to it though, i live in the country, about 10 miles from the nearest anything so they are going to be falling asleep in the car on my way back from tots groups or whatever. will just have to wake them as soon as i arrive home which would limit it to about a 20 minute nap. Wish me luck!!!!

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Galena · 08/07/2011 22:45

All the best - as I say, I haven't dropped the nap, I've just limited it. It might be worth trying first - if DD has more than 90 mins she doesn't settle till 9-9:30, whereas 60 mins and she's asleep by 7:30. Also, I never, ever let her nap after 3pm.

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mumsgonemad123 · 08/07/2011 22:52

thanks galena, yeah i will try different things either napping and waking earlier, waking after an hour or maybe have them going without a nap for 2 to 3 days and letting them have a long nap the fourth day or something. Will see how things go, i just know now something has got to change!!!!

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Tgger · 09/07/2011 00:22

Hi,
Yeah, you will prob find a transition stage- napping some days not others/napping for a shorter time etc etc for a while.

DD is now 2 and 8 months and naps at nursery (2 days a week) but not at home anymore. She does get increasingly grumpy as the days go on without a nap but it seems won't sleep in her bed anymore during the day at home- will nod off in the car at about 2/3pm so that can be useful!!! I am surprised she still naps at "school", but I guess she is pretty knackered from not napping at home and maybe is more inclined to do as asked there!

Am a bit miffed she's given up napping earlier than DS who carried on- maybe only once a week or so at the end, until nearly 4!

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pranma · 09/07/2011 11:59

dgs[2.4] used to nap for about 2 hours [11 to 1] but it has naturally reduced to about 50 minutes from about 11.30.He sleeps from 7pm to 6am-another hour would be great!

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lastonetoleaveturnoutthelights · 10/07/2011 22:04

Mumsgonemad I am in the same position as you with my ds; my tip for not letting him sleep in the car when we're out in afternoons is playing loud music or radio, especially nursery rhymes that he sings along to. Turn up the volume.. even if you feel like a bit of peace and quiet yourself.

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