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3yo and 10mo issues

(3 Posts)
Sunshine31 Wed 06-Jul-11 20:02:14

3 year old DD1 has always been quite bad with my 10mo DD2 but things have got a lot worse since the baby has started to crawl and I am clueless as to what to do. DD2 is naturally inquisitive and wants to be involved in whatever it is that DD1 is playing with. This always results in shrieks of "No, mine" from DD1, followed closely by pushing and shoving the baby away. I can easily spend the whole day telling DD1 off for hurting the baby.

I understand from her point of view it must be terribly frustrating to have built a nice garage for her cars, and then to have it trashed immediatly. I`ve treid explaining but not sure she understands

I also have a problem in that DD1 doesn`t understand that DD2 doesn`t like some of the games DD1 tries to play with her, but DD1 doesn`t listen when I tell her to stop

I`m sure its a common problem but my friends with children roughly the same ages don`t seem to have the extreme problems I`m having

I don`t really want to start using naughty steps or anything like that and I`m worrying that if I carry on shouting its just going to create massive sibling rivalry. But its driving me mad. When DD2 was a baby and DD1 would hit her, I used to just ignore her, pick up the baby and walk away, but not sure that will work now as the baby just wants to play. Does anyone have any ideas ?

uninspired Wed 06-Jul-11 22:18:51

Is there any way you can create a safe space for DD1 to do her own thing without DD2 getting to it? Maybe even put DD1 in a playpen grin

From DD1s pov it does seem unfair that she is being told off - admittedly for retaliating - when DD2 is the unwitting instigator.

flowersinherhair Wed 06-Jul-11 23:46:42

I'm having the exact same a 3 year old and a 10 month old. My 3 year old takes all the babies toys off her and won't share, she has never been like this (at nursery she happily shares with other children). I just dread the battles as they get older...and I'm already worrying about Christmas!
My older dd plays a tickling game with the baby.....unfortunately her tickles take skin off...she's quite rough. I find myself shouting even though I know she doesn't mean to hurt her....the baby went through a stage of not letting my older dd near her, she smiles and tries to play now so I think we're making small progress! grin

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