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I am desperate for help with DS2 6yo

(8 Posts)
chocolatchaud Tue 05-Jul-11 20:14:33

DS2 has turned over the last few weeks from being a boisterous, but fairly sweet boy, to the most hideous child.

There have been several incidents at school, of naughtiness and unkindness (4 out of the last 5 days), which have been the first in the whole school year. He shows no remorse, and constantly lies and blames others.

At home he laughs in your face when you try to tell him off, says things like "do you think I'm bothered" or "do I look like I care", and is horrible to his siblings.

I am on the verge of taking him to the GP to get some professional help, but any advice on here would be greatly appreciated.

girliefriend Tue 05-Jul-11 20:46:56

Can you think of anything else that has happened recently that might have upset him? It sounds like he is trying to play something out that is bothering him either that or he is just going through a push boundaries phase.

I would be consistant, don't get into negative patterns of telling him off all the time or thinking the worse of him. Try and listen out for times when he might be trying to tell you whats going on. I would have a clear set of 'rules' and consequences, don't get into debates just if he is naughty or hurts someone this is what will happen (time out, bed early, toy confiscated etc)

I am sure he will sort himself out soon smile

greycircles Tue 05-Jul-11 20:51:38

These phrases "do I look like I care" etc must have been learnt from schoolfriends. He's just repeating them. If this was my DS (he's 5), I would get a sort of reward chart where he would get a star every day that he behaved well and then once he had a certain number of stars, he would get a reward (like a toy or something that would appeal to him). I am not sure that there would be anything for the GP to do about it because it seems like he has not always been like this - he has perhaps witnessed it going on at school and copied it.

StrangewaysHereICome Tue 05-Jul-11 22:28:07

You have my sympathy! My DD1 is also 6 and going through something similar. My mum is convinced 6 year olds have a mini-adolescent phase where they are learning about being independent and finding their way in the world so try to challenge authority and things they don't agree with. With my DD1 I think the arrival of her baby brother has been a bit of a trigger. I try to ignore her bad behaviour, or if it is extreme confiscate her DS. I make sure any good behaviour is rewarded almost excessively. Things are improving, but there are days when the red mist descends and it is hard to get through the day. I am getting nervous about the summer holidays!!

Try not to let him wind you up, stay calm if you can and remind yourself this is a passing phase. Can you spend some time with just him and have fun to try to ease the pressure? It is sooooo tough sometimes, hang in there.

chocolatchaud Wed 06-Jul-11 15:12:24

Thanks for all your replies - sorry I went to bed soon after posting!

I will read them all properly later - just off to school now with my fingers very firmly crossed!

Thanks again

angelPeacock Thu 07-Jul-11 16:17:40

what is he like at school? is he the same/similar or is it "just at home".
my son had a hard time arround this age (various reasons) but the problem was basically the same....he had a star chart at school which was 7 stars a day, 1 for every lesson time and one for every play/dinner time.
it took time, but it worked (alongside a few other interventions for other issues).

hope today went well xx

wearymum200 Thu 07-Jul-11 20:02:00

End of term tiredness makes behviour worse too and it's easy to get into the negative spiral. When DS1 (5.5) behaves badly like this, I try very hard to go back to the toddler phase of over-praising every good behaviour and trying not to anticipate the bad (though obviously punishing appropriately where necessary eg hurting others). Sleep, some family fun time and cutting slack where possible will hopefully help.

chocolatchaud Thu 07-Jul-11 20:39:06

Thank you. DH hasn't been around much for the last few weeks, so I wonder if that has had an impact - my attention spread even more thinly.

His behaviour has been fine at school over the last 2 days, and he has been much better at home. I am trying, as suggested, to reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. Actually, not so much ignore, but send him off to bed very early - seems to have had an impact.

Thanks for your replies.

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