Fussy eating-am I handling this right?(5 Posts)
DD, 3.5, is at home at the moment-quarantined due to the dreaded
chicken pox. Ordinarily in nursery ft. Has always been on the fussy side-not what you'd call a 'good eater' but generally not too bad with dishes she knows well and will try new stuff on a good day! She's quite prone to losing her appetite especially if tired or ill, both of which have been issues lately. She's on the mend currently, and after a couple of days of picking and us letting her eat what she feels like, given she's ill (within reason; fruit, cinnamon and raisin bagels, etc - not total crap) she appears to be hoping this new regime can continue! As it's been an issue in the past, wanted to canvass opinions (and any other gems of wisdom): at the moment, I normally expect her to eat a reasonable amount of her main course-at least half-before she can have pudding-normally fruit, occasionally custard or choc mousse. If she doesn't want to eat that much main, that's ok, but doesn't get pud. Does this sound totally evil? Am worried she'll get a terrible complex, also I am a total foodie and would love her to like everything on its own terms. But feel like DD cannot live on melon alone! Have just had screaming abdabs as took beans on toast away as she was playing, not eating despite having been sat at table for ages-concluded she must be finished but when twigged no pud, she's shovelled the rest in cold! Wwyd? Incidentally, eats much better at nursery and am wondering if its become a power thing, especially as has been off and at home with DH and me for so long...
I think given your last line - it is a power thing. I have something very similar. My DS eats really well at nursery, then almost as well for grandma, and then really not so good for me. He will eat fine if he's not too tired, not too hungry, and gets down to it before realizing that it's me sat opposite him! I've managed to stop standing over him (I did have a nasty habit of doing that) but him playing with his food or not eating can drive me to distraction! It sounds as if you are doing brilliantly. I'm personally fine with giving pudding if not much of a main has been eaten - but each to their own. If that's how you feel, then stick with it! Once she gets back into the nursery swing of things it will all get back to normal!
I also allow pudding if not much main is eaten, but that pudding is only either fruit or yoghurt. There's no biscuits or treats if he's hungry. I don't mind ds not eating his main course if he doesn't want to, but I'm not having him filling up afterwards on biscuits so I say to him if he's still hungry he can have some cheese and bread, some more fruit or another yoghurt, but nothing else.
I think it's incredibly common to find that children who are supposedly fussy eaters actually eat much better when they are with other people. My ds always eats better with his nanny, and my mum so in part it is a power battle. In that case I do think it's important to not get drawn in to a battle. don't argue, lay out your terms and then ignore anything else. FWIW if ds shovelled beans on toast down cold just to get pud then I'd say he'd earned it
I agree - totally congealed - <boak>
Thanks for your views. So you don't think I'm storing up 'issues'...?
No, I would adopt a breezy attitude to eating. I often say to ds I don't have anything else to give him rather than I won't do it, but sometimes that's just me being lazy and wanting to avoid a fight. Works occasionally and he'll accept it. I try to make meals I know he likes and will occasionally put a teeny bit of something else on his plate to try if he feels like it. He never does but one day miracles might happen. I figure if his diet is balanced despite being a bit repetitive then he'll be ok and I just don't fight with him about food.
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