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DD is scared of going to nursery...

(4 Posts)
peacefuleasyfeeling Mon 04-Jul-11 11:30:57

We decided to put DD into nursery for two half days per week once I returned to work. It seemed a good idea at the time (seeing other children, getting time to do stuff etc) but now we're not so sure.
As we have not had to rush her induction, she has been going for her induction visits twice a week since April (!) when she was 11 months (she is now 13 months). We initially left her for 10 minutes, and have gradually increased it to two hours, but she has not yet done a full session. She has never liked being left there, and usually spends most of the time crying once we leave. As long as we are there, she enjoys the space and the other children and plays with the toys and interracts with the staff.
The last two times, however, she has begun shaking like a little lettuce leaf as we approach the building and going all quiet, crying sort of under her breath. The staff, who are really lovely, say that it is 'resistance' and separation anxiety and that we can 'get through' it (implying that happy times are just around the corner), but we're starting to feel like she's really telling us something, and that perhaps she really isn't ready and we should just work something else out.
Has anyone else had an experience like this, and if so, what did you do?

shipsladyg Mon 04-Jul-11 15:49:11

Interested in this as my DD does the quaking thing at a crèche we've been going to since she was 10 wks. She's now 12m. There really is nothing wrong with the place and it's worrying me about her starting nursery this month.

Tw1nkle Wed 06-Jul-11 08:24:25

My DD was very similar, and would cry and cling to me when I took her.
She started at 12 months - she's 2.8 now - and STILL does it!
I don't hang around, AT ALL, I take her in and come straight out. The nursery assure me that she stops crying within seconds of me leaving (it used to be within minutes).
You can call them up and check on her through out the day if it's worrying you.
Whenever i go and pick her up she is always playing nicely - then runs over to me and starts the waterworks again.
It is really really hard, but I honestly believe that it's the best thing for my DD. School would be an absolute nightmare otherwise im sure!!

peacefuleasyfeeling Tue 12-Jul-11 21:22:11

Thank you for your thoughts and advice. Well, here's to trusting the professionals; after a heart to heart with the buoyantly optimistic manager, who insisted perseverance would pay off (but who also helpfully suggested that if we felt she wasn't ready, we could withdraw her for a few months and let her start again once we felt she was), we gritted our teeth and decided to give it another week (two more sessions). Something really did shift, just as she had said, and we were amazed to return to nursery at the end of those two sessions to find her playing happily and actually laughing. She hardly cried when I dropped her off on Monday. But when she blew kisses at the staff as we left, "Stockholm syndrome" crossed my mind... hmm We'll see how it unfolds from here, and thanks again.

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