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Sudden change in 2y/o's sleep that coincides with new baby.

(6 Posts)
galaxydad Sat 02-Jul-11 09:33:26

Hi Mums, I hope you don't mind a Dad posting some questions but this seems like a good place to ask them. smile

So basically our 2 y/o all of the sudden(but maybe not surprisingly) has taken to not sleeping if there is not someone with him, when we put him to bed if he is still awake he starts screaming if we leave the room. Now we tried to stay with him and then tried to leave him and see if he could deal with it himself but in his worked up state he now manages to climb out of the cot(or fall), so now we feel like we can't even leave him alone as he may hurt himself. This also happens if he wakes during the night or in the morning, the only thing that works is having somebody with him. He has never really been like this, up till now we have been very lucky.

The other thing that is proabably a factor is we now have a 2 week old second child, so far our oldest has been amazingly good about the whole thing during the daytime. He is very sweet with his new brother and shows no signs at all of jealousy but I suspect it may be playing a role in his nighttime patterns.
I don't know, there may be a few factors to be honest, he was fine for the first week or so when the baby came home but it's been quite hectic here for that time as well. We had both of the in-laws here for that week and my own mother is still here too so there has been a bot of overload for him.

Plus the change to his sleep seemed to coincide with the time his grandparents left.
And there is the added fact that the night it started it was very hot so we thought we would try a fan in his room, well that lasted for about 10 seconds as it freaked him out.

At the end of the day I'm not sure what to do, is it a case of just being patient and it will pass? What if it doesn't pass? Hopefully someone else has had a similar experience and can share some ideas.
It's at that stage now where everyone is starting to get tired and a bit grumpy, everyone except the newborn that is, he sleeps all day long. grin Not so much at night though.

diddle Sat 02-Jul-11 18:49:02

I have 3 boys 5,3 & 2 they have all done the same as your son at age 2 I did stay in their rooms, sitting with my 2 year old right now actually. With the older 2 I started in their room, then moved to the doorway, then the top of the stairs etc, over a space of weeks. They settle themselves fine now thank goodness. It took months for each of them to get back to normal and nothing in particular triggered it.
Stick at it, hard I know with a new baby, but it won't last forever. Good luck

MatchsticksForMyEyes Sat 02-Jul-11 18:54:01

My daughter was 2.5 when my son was born. Same as with your son, she was fine until the novelty of the newborn wore off and then would get out of bed and climb in with my husband. I was sleeping with the baby at the time. Husband didn't really mind as I was sleeping apart from him and I think he was lonely! It lasted 3 months until I swapped with him and just put her back in her own room.
I think there is definitely a moment when they get a bit jittery about not having all the attention and it mainly manifests itself at night. It will pass, especially when the baby gets a bit more interesting for him and not so demanding of you and your partner.

drystonewarning Sat 02-Jul-11 19:08:12

DS was exactly the same when DD arrived (he was 19 months at the time) - gentle and interested in the baby during the day and displaying no signs of jealousy but his sleep went totally to pot at night. He would scream for ages when we put him to bed and then wake up in the middle of the night and scream some more. At one point it felt like as soon as I had settled one screaming baby at one end of the flat, the other kicked off! I thoroughly sympathise with you but fear not, it does pass!! It helped a bit when I realised that I was getting DH to put him to bed whereas before it would have been me. We went back to his old routine and gave him super amounts of love and attention just before bed and this did help. Good luck and congratulations!

galaxydad Sat 02-Jul-11 21:36:17

Thankyou to all those who responded. It's nice too have the reassurance that it's perfectly normal, just a bit trying. But we will stick at it, I just came down after nearly 2 hours with him. At least I can catch up on some reading I guess and more importantly I can give my wife somewhat of a break.
And as diddle mentioned we can slowly move further as time goes, just as long as he knows someone is there seems to be what he needs.

I have actually let him come to bed with me when he wakes up at 4 or 5am for a couple of hours the last couple of nights, it does get a bit lonely so I don't mind.
Thanks everybody it helps just to hear that it gets better. smile
And thankyou for the congrats too.

galaxydad Sat 09-Jul-11 21:16:58

Just an update a week on and nothing has changed apart from he is getting more comfortable with someone being there if anything, while we are there he has started playing and singing like he used to in bed but don't try to close the door or leave because he screams himself sick.
It's gone 10 here now and my wife is still with him after taking shifts(a horrible idea imho). Every night he wakes up screaming too, the first time I settle him down back to sleep and then the second time I take to bed with me. I can't see any signs of improvement and with sleep deprived parents our evenings are becoming non existant.

Would 2y 1mth be too young to cut out his afternoon nap?
It would feel like it is not really a solution but in the past when he hasn't had one he goes straight to sleep. It would be a hard decision as that afternoon nap is much appreciated.

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