OCD in a 4 year old.(7 Posts)
Hi all, am new to this and was hoping someone can give me some advice please.
My 4 year old son started nursery last September and seemed to be doing fine until we got to Christmas when he decided he didnt want to eat anymore, ( he said he didnt know how to ) as a result he stopped eating anything altogether for 12 days. We managed to feed him on complan as the only thing he would take was strawberry milkshake. We had sevearal drs appointmens and took him to a and e a couple of times. Physically he was fine. told us to perservere a little longer then on day 12 started eating again.
After Christmas we discovered he was being bullied by another 4 year old in his nursery, discussed this with teacher and head teacher and it seems to calm down, but then he started syaing that this boy was calling him loser and pooey head e.t.c went in to discuss again but from about March my son has started some OCD behaviour. He hoards everything, including instructions , wants to wash his hands every time he goes out, lines things up, get frustrated really easily over things, but his main one is getting words stuck in his head, usually he says I dont want to say .... ( any word or phrase ) then as soon as we say ok, he says it again with another word, then another and continues this all the time. If we dont answer he just keeps saying mum or dad until we say ok. He also has a habit of telling us everthing he is doing. Hes hyper most of the time and holds his wee until the very last mintue.
Its so upsetting watching him do this and on a couple of occasions Ive found him with his head in his hands sobbing saying he doesnt want these words in his head anymore. Weve talked to his teacher and he doesnt seemt o be displaying this beahaviour in nursery. We have an appointment with a health visitor on the 12th July, shes coming to see us and him but he usually doesn;t do it in front of others.
He has also started touching myself , husband and 2 girls inapproriatly, the health visitor on the phone said that could just be his age but I have to tell him off as its embarrasing to my girls especially as my eldest is 11.
I was just wondering if anyone has any advice or has been through this.
I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much
It sounds like he is upset about something. Does he look foward to going to nursery? Is he able to chat to you about his day, what he has done, how he is feeling?
How does he hoard instructions?
How does he react when you tell him off for touching people inappropriatly?
I'm a bit confused by how he is getting words stuck in his head. Does he keep repeating the word again and again, or is he unable to say the word?
Hiya, thanks for your reply. He enjoys going to nursery most of the time. Hes very intellegent and can tell us what hes done through the day e.t.c. Hes probably more advanced for his age.
He saves instructions that you get with kinder eggs or toys, plus usually the packaging. I have to have a clear out every week when hes not there and usually doesnt seem to notice when things have gone as I still save some of them. Hes obsessed with his bedroom being tidy and also arrages clothes and toys so they are tidy.
He gets upset when we tell him off, but still does it again.
He doesnt repeat the same words , he just says all the time ' I dont want to say big' or 'I dont want to say small' or ' I dont want to say cake' e.t.c he says this over and over again with different words. Other words he uses are pooey head, loser, stupid ! Words as a family we never use. We have to aknowledge that he has said each word otherwise he wil just repeatably say mum or dad to us until we say ok .
I have since found out today that the boy that was bullying him has behavioural problems but his parents are turning a blind eye to it.
Thanks for your help!
one of my boys did something very similar to this a few months ago - the worry about words in his head, rather than the touching. He was anxious about a couple of things (new baby on the way, boy at school had hurt him and the teacher told him he was making up stories etc) then had been told off for something he said.
I think it's definitely worth explaining to your HV who should understand that it is something that he doesn't display in public. In the meantime, someone suggested to me that positive diversion may help - i.e. if your child doesn't want to think about something or say something, give them something else to think about. E.g. get them to describe a nice scene in the garden (what it looks/feels/smells like) then tell him to think about that if there is something troubling him.
My same boy used to grind his teeth when he was a bit younger and I got him to tap his thumbs together instead which helped - it's the same principle.
On the "pooey head" thing though - I wouldn't stress about that. I don't believe there is a four year old boy in the country who doesn't say poo poo head or similar at least three times a day!
Re the boy at nursery - have you talked your son through some techniques for dealing with him. E.g. walk away and find another friend, tell a teacher, put your shoulders back and say firmly "Don't say that"...
I really feel for you as he's obviously very upset and worried, just as you are.
My brother was bullied at school and developed OCD too. He would wash his hands until they bled. My parent found out about the bullying, confronted the child in the playground who was bullying my brother, and the bullying stopped. His OCD got better, but it comes back when he's worried about something.
Plesae read this link:
I think it will be beneficial for you and your son.
Best of luck.
I cant offer any better advice than SwedishKaz and schmee. I do feel for you and wish you and your son lots of luck. X
Thank you everyone for your kind messages and help, you've given me some really good advice. I will try what schmee has said about thinking of something else. Weve noticed that my son is a bit better on the days that the other boy is not in nursery. Its just not my son he does things too either, its other children too and his dad gets pulled in almost every day over it. Just seems that the other children cope better. I myself suffer with depression and my son is very sensitive like I am so I believe this is his coping mechanism. Am hoping when hes off in the summer holidays and when he goes back to school and realises the other boy has gone to another school , he will improve.
Thanks again everyone for thinking of us. x
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