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Can I talk about my little girl?

(17 Posts)
Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 16:40:00

I have a wonderful, happy, affectionate and beautiful DD who is 2.7
I have taken her to see a speech therapist today and for the first time someone has seen the issues that I see and part of me feels like crying and the rest of me is so relieved.

There seem to be 2 main 'issues'. She is around 12 months behind where she 'should' be, in terms of speech, understanding, play and also physical movement.
And the therapist also noted that she was quite passive. She doesn't really ask anyone to join her in play and just potters about in her own way.

The speech therapist was very keen that she would like to keep an eye on her and is coming to my house next week.

I'm not really sure what they point of this post is.
I guess I have always known there may be something different and whilst I know she may well just catch up, it feels great not to hear - 'she's lovely, she'll get there in her own time' and for someone to see her for who she is and to see that whilst she is lovely she is falling behind her peers and they are going to help her.

smile and sad

TheRealMBJ Tue 28-Jun-11 16:47:39

sad but glad that you've seen someone who could help.


Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 16:52:13

It is sad isn't it?
bugger I am going to have to wait for wine. DH home late tonight.

TheRealMBJ Tue 28-Jun-11 16:56:04

It might not be anything HUGE though smile and at least your. Concerns have been recognised and acknowledged. Which is a good thing.

Here's some virtual wine for you.

julantal Tue 28-Jun-11 17:09:06

good for you-- coming from a speech tx here in the states-- the BEST thing you did was get her seen and evaluated early on-- early intervention is key-- is the speech tx (SLP) someone you can talk freely with-- tell her your feelings-- whenever someone is dx with something the whole family is sorta dx in my opinion -- it affects everyone-- be open-- tell her how you feel as well -- the best thing you can do in the meantime is write down what you are seeing and not seeing with regards to her play, interactions, requesting, sleep, crying, behavior, pointing, frustrations etc. keep a log, daily report, be proactive. good luck... your sweet baby girl is still your sweet baby girl!

Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 18:06:20

Thanks julantal.
She is still our gorgeous little person. There is something 'wired' differently in her - I know that. But she has the most amazing personality and whatever her needs are she is as valid as the next person.

JamieAgain Tue 28-Jun-11 18:08:48

All any of us can do is to accept our children, whatever their "issues" are. And you know what you are dealing with now. Good luck, you sound like a loving mum.

poptartpoptart Tue 28-Jun-11 18:56:15

My DS (now 6yo) had virtually the same issues as your DD at that age.
Turns out he has a mild form of verbal dyspraxia, (essentially a speech problem) and this presented itself as him being very passive and very behind with his talking and general demeanur.
Early intervention was the key, and he received lots of help with his speech from a SALT and also lots of 1-2-1 time during his nursery and reception years at school.
I cannot stress enough the importance of early intervention and a proper diagnosis, as the earlier they receive the help they need the better and quicker the long term results.
The good news is that he is now a 'normal' happy 6yo who is now reaching the same targets as his peers and you'd never really know there had been a problem.
Have they considered testing her for general dyspraxia? Just a thought.
Big hugs to you and your DD, and well done you for trusting your instincts and insisting on her being seen rather than just the usual 'wait and see' trap that we can so easily fall into.

Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 19:46:55

Thanks poptart that is very reassuring to hear.
I had thought about dyspraxia. I will have a (non panic inducing) google.

Today was just the first step, but she seemed quite sure that she wanted to keep an eye on things and booked to see us next week, so clearly she thinks this is more than simply a speech delay.

henryhsmum Tue 28-Jun-11 21:07:23

My DS displayed very similar symptoms and he was diagnosed with autism at 3.5yrs. What stands out for me is where you say she Potters in her own way as playing alongside rather than with others is an autistic trait. My advice would be to try and find out if it is autism early on, they won't generally diagnose before 3. The best thing is to get a GP referral to a paediatrician. If they have a specialist child development centre near you they may then refer you to that. Basically, they do a series if assessments from several professionals-speech therapists, educational psychologists, occupational therapists etc.

It is honestly best to get a diagnosis sooner rather than later. In particular she made need a statement if special educational needs to get extra help at school. In my experience it is better to get that well before school starts as once she is there they can be more inclined to take the attitude that they are coping rather than give extra support. If she is diagnosed with a specific condition like autism you are also entitled to a benefit called disability living allowance.

Hope I haven't scared you- it's just your DD's symptoms sound very like my DSs. The main thing about autism is that it is a very wide spectrum with many characteristics and children don't all display all of it's symptoms. Other things to look at are things like how is she at following instructions, is she delayed with fine and gross motor skills, is she very fussy about things like food?

Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 21:21:44

Can I ask what particular symptoms make you think of Autism?

My gut feeling is that it isn't, but I admit I don't know much about the condition.

From a baby she was very hard to engage with. She wouldn't smile readily and didn't seem bothered by having attention from others.
As she has got older she does interact much more. She says hello and bye to pretty much everyone and has hugs for everyone she knows. she loves her people; family and friends and is very affectionate.
However if she falls over she doesn't need me and when the SALT was observing her today I think that is what stood out to her. She would look at me and smile, but did not need me to join in, did not want to share anything with me. Now this might just be personality (everyone comments on how self contained she is) or it might be something more?

She can follow instructions; get her shoes, find something I ask for etc. She does not get easily upset, except if she can't sleep and eats anything put in front of her.

You have not scared me and I really appreciate all input. smile

Itsalljustabitweird Tue 28-Jun-11 21:29:50

She also does do pretend play (although this is not very complex) and at the moment is pointing to everything so I can name it for her.

Her behaviours seem to be about 12 months behind where they 'should' be.

henryhsmum Wed 29-Jun-11 08:09:30


What made me particularly think of autism was the fact that her social/behavioural development seems to be delayed as well as the speech. In particular the fact that she prefers to play alone. Autistic children do also not seem to be as bothered by pain as some others are my DS is like that and it is a recognised autistic trait. With her motor skills, was she slow to do things like sit up, walk, use cutlery etc?

As regards the speech, some autistic children have no language whilst others are very verbal. Language delay is very often seen as part of autism though. Was she slow to do things like start pointing at objects? All of what you say about her greeting others and being affectionate is positive. One of the key signs is if children have conversations and how they use language for communication but at under 3 this is difficult to gauge.

My DS used to do imaginative play, mainly with his trains, it was more the lack of interaction with other children that marked it out as autism.

I would suggest you look at the National Autistic Society website It should give details of symptoms. The thing with autism is that because it is a spectrum children don't necessarily display all characteristics of it.

Hope that helps.

henryhsmum Wed 29-Jun-11 08:11:17

P.s. It would probably be helpful if you post this in the special needs forum too

chocjunkie Wed 29-Jun-11 20:04:39

Itsalljustabitweird , sorry you are having such a hard time.

your DD sounds very much like my DD (3.5). she is more than a year behind with speech and language (i.e. also her understanding). also her social communication stands out as not quite right. we haven't got a diagnosis yet other than s&l delay/disorder but she also under observation re ASD (autistic spectrum disorder).

I would 2nd what hentyhsmum said - go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

good luck

PS: there are loads of mums with children with similar difficulties on the special needs board ;-)

Itsalljustabitweird Wed 29-Jun-11 20:24:59

Thanks everyone.

I am feeling a bit wobbly tonight and need to try and not think about things too much. I had a lovely day with her today, playing and laughing (DH and I were chasing after her).

I am going to see what the SALT says next week and take if from there.

I may well be back then if that's OK?

weak smile

JamieAgain Wed 29-Jun-11 20:57:46

Not weak. You silly billy

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