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Argh! Boys father pinning all their behaviour issues on me.

(5 Posts)
TitsalinaBumSquash Sun 26-Jun-11 15:17:05

I have 2 boys, 4 and 6. Yes their behaviour is bad. They don't do anything the are asked and I struggle on a day to day basis with them.
They have consistent boundaries and they get the consequences for pushing them.
I have called ex a few times the past couple of weeks to say that WE as parents need to sit down and discuss how to tackle this.

He sees them for a couple of hours once every 2 weeks and has nothing to do with them other than that.

Today he has them at the zoo but he just called to rant at me about how awful they are behaving ad that it is all up to me to sort or he wont be seeing hem anymore.angry

Their behaviour has gone down hill since we split up in Jan, they swear they steal, they fight, back chat and are violent. I don't know how to deal with it.

magicstick Sun 26-Jun-11 18:02:32

Your boys will be still coming to terms with the fact you and their dad and you have split up. It isnt a lot of time with their father if he only sees them once every two weeks. I think they are acting up because they are insecure and need to be reassured that you and their dad still love them. They need to know that dad moving away was not because of them. It would be better if dad could see them more often.

Chundle Sun 26-Jun-11 19:11:53

I agree with magic dad needs to make an effort to see them more I'm afraid. Perhaps you and dad could sit them both down altogether and explain how much you love them both but how much their behaviour upsets you both. Could you arrange for you all to go out together once a month for a day out for the boys sake by explain to the boys that this special treat will only happen if they get so many stickers on their sticker chart etc. I have many friends who still go out for the day with their ex just to keep kids happy

TitsalinaBumSquash Sun 26-Jun-11 19:15:10

I would love to do all of these things and I have asked him to have them once a weekend so he would still have the other day of the weekend 'off', he refuses. He says that i chose this option (i ended the relationship) so I have to suffer.

I agree he should do more, maybe pay child support once in a while or actually make the effort to see them or call them more than he does but he just wont.

It breaks my heart the way he talks about as if they are a chore.
They are not that bad for me, I never find myself in tears or shouting hysterically at them. Yes they are badly behaved but not to the point where he should stop seeing them.

mumsiepie Sun 26-Jun-11 20:51:17

By blaming you he can shrug off all the guilt on his shoulders and feel better! He sounds horrible and selfish.

Try not to worry about your boys they will settle. I would reward with charts and prizes rather than give punishments. x

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