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I can't stand the tantrums..please help!

(4 Posts)
mamaesi Mon 20-Jun-11 17:12:39

How do you deal with tantrums and screaming in a toddler?

My 14 month old is driving me crazy and I am starting to hate being a stay at home mum. Tantrum every single nappy change which involves me being kicked punched,etc. Screaming wrestling match every single time we get either dressed or undressed. Screams at every meal because I put down or take away what she seems to want/not want. Screams getting into the bath..then enjoys it and screams/tantrum /kicking me getting out! Tantrum getting into buggy. I cant seem to keep her happy for more than 10 min when something else sets her off.

I have no help. Husband works 6 days a week and long hours (baby asleep when he gets home). I cant even do yoga, because my child screams tantrums so badly at the gym creche they come and get me. I also cant afford a nanny or nursery...

Please give me coping skills, ways to entertain/calm my toddler....

MissingMySleep Mon 20-Jun-11 19:20:49

sat on the stairs and pretended to cry theatrically when DS had a tantrum - he was shocked and ended up cuddling me to stop me crying

years later I saw they pinched it for a supermarket advert I think

I went for distraction, doing something to confuse him so he forgot he was mid trantrum. Maybe jumping up and down or singing madly or I would eat the food he didnt want (then he would want it) and above all pretended I couldnt hear the tantrum.

The best one by far was me having tantrum crys that really worked the best.

niccibabe Mon 20-Jun-11 19:25:05

I sympathise - I struggle too. My DC is nearly 2 now, but I remember buggy and nappy changes being horrendous at 14 months.

Distraction before / just as tantrum is about to begin often makes the problem go away - but I don't always get it at the right moment. Something to hold or singing when nappy changing can brighten it up for them.

Once I started going out the room very quickly and closing the door behind me, the nappy changes got a bit better. I did hold the door closed for 30 sec/1 min and DC didn't like to be excluded - effectively a 'time out'. Told DC very firmly, but calmly, I would do it again if anymore kicking. A fairly loud "No", with no other words also helped with the kicking. Obviously, for nappy changes you can only go when DC is on the floor, and a nappy is on.

For the buggy, being firm but quiet, and never giving in eventually helped. Some advance warning repeated several times over 10 mins, e.g. "we're going out in the buggy, it's too far to walk" began to make a difference.

My friend's boy has massive tantrums if hungry or tired at all, so she now brings his lunch to toddler group and he eats it on the way home, avoiding an hour's tantrum at home, plus it works as a bribe to get him into the buggy.

Expending energy at the park, toddler group, etc. can be useful, and you can maybe talk to other mums. Don't be embarrassed to carry off your screaming child and take them home - everyone has to do it sometimes.

girliefriend Mon 20-Jun-11 19:27:28

haha missingmysleep I did that as well with my dd and she did stop mid tantrum and come and curl up on my lap!!!

My dd had massive tantrums and they were very draining to say the least however I later discovered she also had problems with her hearing which didn't help. I found life started to get eaiser once communication improved, also keep life simple, make sure a routine is in place so that she is not tired or hungry, as much as humanly possible walk away from a tantrum - I found if I hung around and tried to comfort it just made things worse plus I ended up getting stressed!!!

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