a nightmare child

[raven1974]

2009 we had a baby girl my first child.
i was so happy i always wanted to be a dad.
but at 2months old she started screaming and this would go on all day long none stop.
a week went by and me and my wife called the health worker to ask her to help us becuse she was screaming everyday all day none stop.
but we was told to deal with it as we had done for a week.
i could not beleve what we was being told so we left it for abit.
this screaming went on and on and on for a year everyday all day.
she she started to lift her head off the floor and smash it back so we had to watch her..
this was about to become the worse time of our life.as she started to sit up she was smashing herself backwords onto the floor the screaming was getting worse.
she then started to walk we did think now she was mobile it would end the probs
but no this was about to get worse.
she now smashes her head up the walls breaks our stuff in the house.kicks and hurts the animals.she pinches and pulls our hair and then says sorry.now when we go out anyplace she kicks off and dont stop.4am in the morning shes up screaming and smashing about the house.she will be 3in sep this year and we have asked for help for almost 3yrs now and nobody will help us.
our own health is now starting to go down hill and we are starting to do things like burn ourselfs on stuff and do things wrong becuse our minds are so done in now we just dont have a life anymore.they was trying to blame it on her speech but unless a new born baby can talk then i dont think so.this is stuped they will help ppl on drugs and whos drunk everyday yet wont give us at least 1days restbit.your mind can only take so much before you loose it..
i cant beleve we have spent almost 3yrs asking them to help us and nobodys done a single thing.
i dont even know how we are still going we have 2older girls that are now being left out becuse all our time is being spent on one child.we have run out of things to do now everything we come up with to make her know its wrong she finds a way out of it.
we feel they are waiting for us to kill her bebore they will help...
has anyone else has this prob before?

[RIPSambuccaKelly]

Why don't you take what you have written down back to your GP and read it to him/her? You sound desperate for some sort of support, and if you can convey your desperation to your GP, this should help enormously. Ask for a referral to a Paediatrician.

[ledkr]

yes gp and also social services who should be able to do an assessment and offer some support,keep pushing.

[Momo36]

Absolutely agree, you should push on to get a referral.

[greenshoot19]

my heart goes out to you :( that sounds so distressing and totally beyond hard work, i sometimes feel i'm losing my mind and my DD is very chilled out in comparison! feeling like you're not coping is horrid, i really hope you can find someone who understands and has the insight to know what to do for you. i know that when my brother was younger he went through a violent discontented stage when he was about 4 or 5, and this was definitely because he was frustrated that he couldn't communicate verbally or socially as well as the other kids, so maybe don't underestimate that. he turned out fine though :) he is one of the most gentle loving people i know. i hope this comes to be the case for your girl.

[raven1974]

i dont know if i put it on here but since i posted this shes now started trying to smash her head in the pathways outside.ppl say they will ring us back and they dont so we loose trust we never had a health visiter up untill 1week ago and even shes gone god knows where.i love my girl to bits and i dont wanna see her smashing her head and destroying the house anymore she not even 3yrs old yet and we have tryed everything we can think off and shes just finding a way round it now..it upsets me ppl stair at you and dont ask whats wrong they just stand and stair and then to be told its not the child its the perants that just totaly made me feel like mabe im a bad dad then.but ive now been in contact with the mp as he is my last hope now.i will keep you updated thanx alot guys..

[raven1974]

RIPSambuccaKelly

in reply to your message we have been to the doctors for the past 2 and half years now or more our doctors are crap down here..we are now waiting for a gp to see us im taking video and letters from 3yrs ago everything we have we are taking now.ive shown them video of her and they ignore it saying well we cant do anything realy but now ive been in contact with a gp or mp mabe this will be it.but if its not then dont know whats gonna happen.trying to stay as strong as i can for my childs sake im not blaming the child as its not her fualt we said to them somethings wrong when she was first born and have done for 2 and half years but they choose to ignore us.we are the childs perants we know if somethings wrong and we was right something was and still is..thanks for you post

[raven1974]

ledkr
social services have said no they cant help us we called them had to beg for help all we want is to get her sorted shes smashing her head so hard its a wonder shes not smashed her skull in.we now have a had that we put on when shes on one without the had she would knock herself out becuse shes not feeling the pain so gos on and on doing it.
the poor dogs have to keep them away now as shes choke them .we will push on for as much as we can but in the end it will get to we cant do it anymore.im a great dad with alot of love that now feels like im failing becuse i ask myself everyday why is she doing this she has loving home loveing mom and dad 2great sisters.i come on this site becuse i did not know if anyone had had the same happen to them with there child.but did not think anyone was going to anser as the other sites i join get nothing..so thanx for your replys and yes we will def keep pushing on for now but dont know how long for.

[laptopwieldingharpy]

Is she the same around other adults/children? Any family or carers around? What do they say?

[hangonasec]

You must keep pushing them to refer, she needs to be seen by a paediatrician, every area is different but she needs to be seen by one either at a hospital or at a centre where your local NHS do developmental assessments. You can refer yourselves to Social services and ask for help, tell them that you want someone to come and do a CAF form with you (Common Assessment Framework), this will help you to access the right support. You are being a good parent by being so concerned. The health visitors should be referring you or helping to do a CAF form with you. Could you complain to their seniors? Hope you get somewhere soon.

[lingle]

please start contacting people in writing. contact social services (google social services plus the name of your county). Email what you wrote to them including all your personal details.

for whatever reason, people aren't listening when you talk to them, but what you wrote is persuasive, good luck with this route.

[Lovemy2babies]

Why are the health visitor and doctors not listening?

Something does not make sense about this....

All children tantrum at this age my 3 year old also tantrums.
It sounds as if you don't understand this about children.

And your dd's screaming/ crying whilst a baby is also normal for babies who's needs are not met or who suffering from colic.

Op have you heard of colic?

[Concerned0]

This post has upset me.

Please could I check clarify two things. If your daughter was born in 2009, she would be 2 this year not 3. This makes a difference behaviourally. I presume this was just a typo though.

You say you have 2 older girls. I'm presuming these must be your step children as you say this is your first child. Your wife has presumably had dealings with HVs in the past with your eldest children. Is there no one she could approach that might listen to her and her instinct that something is wrong as an experienced mum of three.

Health visitors will normally come out to visit and assess a family if you ask them to. If they won't take your DD to the local Health Visitor Clinic and ask again.

Good idea about letting them see a video, then they can advise if what they are seeing is a tantrum or something else.

When your daughter isn't behaving like this is she talking/eating/ behaving normally. Did she walk/talk early or were these things delayed in comparison with your other daughters.

I do hope you get some help soon.