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my 4 moth old is up half of the night-every night, heeeeelp please

(12 Posts)
rom14 Sun 19-Jun-11 19:23:07

my 19 week old baby boy is waking up many times a night but most of them he up for few hours, just making noise, playing, kicking....
last night he woke up at 1.20am and didn't sleep till about 5am-had to rock him to sleep...and was up at 7am
what is the problem???

mumanator Sun 19-Jun-11 19:26:48

this book really heaped us with our twins

We also followed <lowers voice to a whisper and looks around furtively> Gina Ford's advice from about three months old onwards. Worked a treat - by five months they slept 7pm to 7am!

mumanator Sun 19-Jun-11 19:27:08


MogTheForgetfulCat Sun 19-Jun-11 21:05:35

I don't think there is necessarily a problem, tbh - at least not as far as your DS is concerned, although clearly the situation is not ideal for you! My DS3 is similar right now - he is 17 weeks and although he is a lovely, easy baby in lots of ways (self-settles for the night at 7pm, naps well, very happy and smiley), he has recently been awake quite a bit in the wee small hours every night, kicking, fiddling with the cot bumper, singing (loudly) to himself etc. No crying, doesn't want a feed etc.

It is v tough, but I am trying to go with it for now. My understanding is that this is a pretty normal developmental stage (albeit not one that all babies experience in this way), and I certainly remember this being a tough age with DS1 and DS2 as far as sleeping at night was concerned. I am just trying not to do anything to reinforce the waking (e.g. no lights on, talking etc.) and hoping that it will pass soon - rather than seeing it as a problem that has to be 'solved', iyswim?

Arguably quite a passive approach, but I am v wary of imposing rigid routines and letting such small babies cry it out etc. - to me it feels like punishing them. I completely accept, however, that others have different views, and each to their own. Partly I think it depends on how you (and your baby) cope with the broken nights. I am quite lucky in that broken nights, while tough, don't leave me feeling like death warmed up, and DS3 seems just fine and dandy (and is, overall, getting enough sleep, judged on both his own demeanour and the guidance in all the books as to how much sleep a baby of this age should have). However, if I was hanging on by a thread with lack of sleep and/or my baby was clearly unhappy or extremely difficult to handle as a result of insufficient sleep, I daresay I'd be looking to take a more proactive approach.

Newbabynewmum Sun 19-Jun-11 21:09:27

My DD is 8mo and frequently wakes for an hour or two a night. I obviously can't make her go back to sleep so have to live with it. I figure she'll sort herself out in the end! It is quite common - I've heard it's sometimes to do with development. I've just adjusted my lifestyle a bit - we co-sleep so I sit up and play with her while she's awake (I'm a single mum so don't have to worry about waking anyone else!) .... Also I go to sleep earlier to help with the tiredness. It's the only way to handle it IMO. I hope it's ok and you find a way to live with it. X

Newbabynewmum Sun 19-Jun-11 21:12:39

Sorry one more thing. I've tried the passive approach when she wakes but it doesn't deter her, she crawls all over me, stands up, bangs her toys about whether I ignore her or not! I don't get too tired so I don't mind having a play, reading a book most nights.

Not what most people would do I know! But I choose to, I don't want her to lie there and get upset or cry. I don't believe it's her fault she wakes.

greenshoot19 Sun 19-Jun-11 21:22:23

maybe he is getting too much sleep in the day?

Newbabynewmum Sun 19-Jun-11 21:29:11

I don't think it works like that tbh. My DD is only 8mo and has 45mins nap a day! She's an active child who doesn't need to nap much!

greenshoot19 Sun 19-Jun-11 21:34:40

oh it definitely worked like that for me! each baby is uniquely their own smile

Newbabynewmum Sun 19-Jun-11 21:41:09

I do agree. All really different! I found I felt better about my DD's sleeping just knowing others go through the same thing smile

greenshoot19 Mon 20-Jun-11 12:16:21

i know, what a relief! there were times when i was so convinced i was the only one in the whole world up in the middle of the night!!

lainey1981 Mon 20-Jun-11 13:20:03

Could be the 4 month sleep regression? There are lots of threads elsewhere on mn about this.

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