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Need advice about my 1yo...

(8 Posts)
xStarGirl Sun 19-Jun-11 11:33:39

To put it bluntly, he's so whiny and I'm losing the ability to deal with it. On average, I reckon he spends about 60-70% of the time when he's awake just whining at me.

Tiny little things will set him off. I changed the TV channel yesterday and he screamed at me. I sat on the sofa when he was at the other end of the room - he started wailing. If he gets hold of something he shouldn't have and I take it off him, he screams (but that's to be expected, I suppose). If I tell him no, he ignores me, then gets upset when I remove him from the situation.

When he's tired, he refuses to sleep but just wanders around whinging because he's so tired. If I try to cuddle him to sleep, he works himself up into a screaming fit. Oh, and he won't go in his cot without a fight either, and has to be either on the sofa or in bed with me. Which means I get no sleep because he's a massive fidget and usually ends up kicking me in the head. Frequently.

I think most of it is that he's frustrated because he can't communicate what he wants. But he makes no attempts at communication besides whining, and only babbles when he's happy. He wants to be picked up all the time, so I ask him "Do you want to come up?" as a sort of prompt, but he just clings to my legs and tries to climb me.

I'm at my wit's end, I really am. It's got to the point where I can't do basic housework unless DP is in the house (because DS prefers him to me!). If I try, I end up getting wound up by the constant moaning and leg-clinging and having to stop and deal with him just so I don't start screaming at him. sad
What can I do? Or is this just a phase?

theanimalswentintwobytwo Sun 19-Jun-11 12:32:33

I am sorry, it is such hard work. My DS is 13.5 MO and he's just the same (--except he prefers my parents to me--).

I wish I could give you some advice. I tend to just ignore him. If i take something off him and he SCREAMS then I just talk to him very quietly saying "I know...It's not fair...But you can't have it darling...ETC". Then I ignore him until he calms down.

Everyone tells me that it's a phase, he's just frustrated and is feeling insecure...unfortunatly I don't think we can actually do anything other than tough it out stifle our own screams of frustration.

Good luck

FunnysInTheGarden Sun 19-Jun-11 12:35:06

yes, just a phase. DS2 is 16 months and quite like this. Remember it well though from DS1 and know that it will pass in a flash. Hard work just now though!

greenshoot19 Sun 19-Jun-11 21:19:16

i feel your pain! i too have definitely noticed a shift in my 1yo's ability to whinge, although doesn't sound quite as hectic as your DS. Does he walk yet? i'm pretty sure when my DD whinges its because she can't move likes she wants and everything frustrates her, she was like this before she sat up. I think they often get especially agitated when they are transitioning from one phase to another, like you say it might be frustration from not being able to communicate like he wants, but it will pass! Do you have anyone who might be willing to give you a break, just for half an hour or an hour at some points? I find this helps me to get a bit of perspective. Or I sometimes find it helps to arrange to see someone or get out and about to try and distract myself from my wits end! hang on in there!

xStarGirl Mon 20-Jun-11 10:19:12

Thanks for the kind replies, sorry I'm so slow but I spent most of yesterday being a climbing frame/tower stacker! grin

So glad it's not just me. Yes, greenshoot, he's been able to walk for a few months - it just means he can follow me around the room. DP is helpful occasionally, but he's frequently out (despite not needing to be hmm) and my family live two bus journeys away. Though now my dad's retired they might be a bit more accessible!

I think it's just the tiredness that's getting to me. Maybe I'll get DP to suffer the head-kicking for a bit and I'll kip on the sofa.

greenshoot19 Mon 20-Jun-11 12:11:47

ha ha, definitely - thats a DPs job after all, to let us mummies get some peace and quiet every now and again!! (tiredness is pure EVIL. can't stand it!! Good job they're worth smile)

greenshoot19 Mon 20-Jun-11 12:12:45 (oops, thats tiredness in itself!)

mamaesi Mon 20-Jun-11 17:02:49

my 14 month old is driving me crazy. screaming and tantrums over everything! I have no answers only sympathy...

tantrum over every single nappy change...constant attention..tantrums over food, toys, everything.

I am really at a loss as to how I am supposed to enjoy this phase.

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