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9 month ds only wanting daddy.

(7 Posts)
debbie1412 Mon 13-Jun-11 11:12:29

Hiya all
I really need to advice, My DS is 9months for the past 4 weeks he only want his dad and im finding it really difficult to stay upbeat and not get upset. Its getting really quite awful at home. He no longer smiles at me laughs with me doesnt try to engage at all with me, he just puts up with me during the week days because his dad is at work and their is no-one else in the house. When hes with his daddy he smiles and looks lovingly at him, if i touch him he clings to daddy and cries at me to go away. Through the night if he wakes and i go to settle him this upsets him even more and my Dh has to get up to soothe him. He looks through me and if i try to play or engage he gets agitated at me.
I dont know what to do but its starting to make me wary of him because each time i get rejected it hurts like hell.
Any advice?

Flojo1979 Mon 13-Jun-11 12:27:39

aww this is so hard, I know how tough it must be as my DD went thro this at pretty much the same age. She wasnt quite as bad, as she would let me sooth her, but when DP was around she didnt want to know me and likewise when i took her to my parents home (usually bout once or twice a wk) she wouldnt let my mum anywhere near her yet was all smiles for my dad. And even with complete strangers there was a definate preference to men for some reason. Now shes 2 n half and has a definate preference to me. I would try not to let it bother u. I know its so hard but he is only little and will remember none of this when hes bigger, he will prefer to go to u in the end as the main care giver. When he tumbles over and grazes his knee it'll be u he'll ask for, so just smile thro it, it will change soon.

happygilmore Mon 13-Jun-11 14:39:28

My DD is 12 months and cries for her daddy as soon as she sees him and virtually launches herself at him..if I come in the room and he's with her she doesn't want me at all. I get upset as I've been ill and DH has spent more time with her than me (e.g. at nights) and think she'll always prefer him to me..but honestly, it is just a phase I promise. I know it's tough but I'm sure he loves you to bits and it will pass.

I think all children go through this phase at some point, I know my nieces did.

debbie1412 Mon 13-Jun-11 18:26:40

I really hope so, never in my wildest dreams did i ever expect to have to have a discussion like this, my baby not wanting me was just not on my radar.

happygilmore Mon 13-Jun-11 20:39:24

Same here, it's tough isn't it? One thing that I try and do is tell myself I'm her mum, the adult and it's my job to deal with these kind of things as she develops. I don't mean that patronizingly (and it doesn't always work!!!) but I just keep telling myself it and know deep down that she does love me lots. I think you have to be kind to yourself and not take it personally if you can, I know how hard it is, I really do.

debbie1412 Tue 14-Jun-11 10:59:23

No offence taken, and i would never get huffy about it either more frustation at times and humilation lol when he does it in public especialy at the inlaws where i feel they are watching my every move .

happygilmore Tue 14-Jun-11 14:15:13

My inlaws are like that too, and it makes you feel more self-conscious doesn't it? It's hard! I do find distraction helps a bit, e.g. if she's really moaning I get on the floor and pretend to be a cat (!) and that makes her giggle or pretend to have the hiccups etc. Forgot the inlaws, I'm sure you're a great parent, tough I know, but I'm sure your son loves you to bits.

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