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Easily led 3 year old. What to do?

(10 Posts)
Sunshine31 Fri 10-Jun-11 21:12:22

Dd is 3 and normally a well behaved child. We have the usual issues but nothing I can't cope with. My problem is that when she is playing with my friends little boy, she becomes so excitable, noisy and naughty. All they do is run around when I know she is capable of so much more. It's just when she is with this one child. We had my nct class here this afternoon and she played nicely with them.

She's quite bright and he's a more physical child. I'm probably worrying over nothing as they are so young but I don't like the fact that she will just do what he does. We see them quite often as they only live 4 doors away. They also go to nursery together where they seem to play together a lot.

Am I over reacting or do we spend less time with them? I feel a bit mean as my friend is lovely

LynetteScavo Fri 10-Jun-11 21:16:15

I think it's less that she's easily influenced than he's a natural born leader who can persuade others to behave his his excitable way.

I think all children have one friend like this.

hobbgoblin Fri 10-Jun-11 21:16:57

You are going to get the proverbial piss ripped out of you for this post you know.

Your DD is 3. How do we learn about how to get along with different people in life? It isn't by only playing with NCT offspring.

Sarah159 Fri 10-Jun-11 21:17:20

Have you asked nursery how she plays there? Is she really being "naughty" when she plays with the boy or is it more of the "excitable & noisy" part? Cos sounds to me like she simply enjoys this different aspect of play and maybe this boy is the only one that brings out her free spirit? I think sometimes as parents we can worry about how other people are judging our little ones and forget that running around, making noise and being excited are all part of the joy of being children!

youonlygetonelife Fri 10-Jun-11 21:27:54


Girl child: "well behaved", "she is capable of so much more", "played nicely","She's quite bright"

Boy child: "excitable, noisy and naughty", "All they do is run around", "he's a more physical child"

It sounds to me as though your daughter enjoys letting off some steam with her friend. Don't socialise her to be a 'good girl'.

hobbgoblin Fri 10-Jun-11 21:30:21

Plus, the boy can't make your DD something she is not.

She has the devil in her. Accept it wink

Sunshine31 Fri 10-Jun-11 21:31:36

More than happy for people to rip the proverbial piss out of me if it reassures me that she's fine. I hadn't really thought about how she actually needs to learn about other people. So that's fine and I feel better. Not exactly something I can ask m friends about though

Firawla Fri 10-Jun-11 23:11:25

i think she is just adaptable and enjoys playing with different children in different ways, i wouldn't worry too much? i wouldn't say running around exitable etc is necessarily naughty or a problem, she's not doing it all the time. if they are like this together then maybe its better to do things like when you meet up with this boy and his mum go to the park or outside rather than at home, so they are in a more appropriate space for running round. its good for her to have the chance to run round excitedly as well as playing nicely and quietly

Roo83 Sat 11-Jun-11 00:16:53

Is it my ds she's playing with?! He is very physical, loves running around etc. I don't think it hurts for her to have different 'types' of friends, rather than just choosing friends that are similar to her. As she gets older she'll find her own friends that she enjoys spending time with, even if they are a bit boisterous!

Tgger Sat 11-Jun-11 21:28:33

Running around is a very important part of being 3 (I only half joke her, it is actually, really good exercise etc!).

Seriously though, try to let your daughter be a bit more. If they're not hurting each other, then that's good, if they're actually having fun together that's REALLY GOOD!!

Enjoy! My DS (4.5) is both sensitive and boisterous- he has friends of both persuasions and I am pleased he plays with both- it's good experience re how to handle yourself as many personalities exist at school!

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