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3 yr old son who doesnt seem to want anything to do with his own dad

(5 Posts)
LauLau15 Thu 09-Jun-11 11:11:38

Hi, my DS turned 3 in April, for the last few months maybe even 6 months or more he only really wants mummy to do things with him like take him to the loo, help him with his dinner, even simple things like opening a door for him, putting his shoes on or taking them off. I have to do everything or he strops. When my husband offers to help which he does all the time, my son acts offended and says no, yesterday we decided enough was enough ane he took our son to the toilet, my son screams house down, ends in tears and a timeout issued by dad! Has anyone else experienced their kids only wanting mum all the time. He wont even hug his dad. His dad is loving and caring but is feeling so rejected by his own son. How can i help this situation? When i am not around, DS has to do things with his dad and he does. So why when we are both there is he horrible to his dad, tries to hit him, smack him and blows raspberries at him. i fear their relationship will be non existant and my husband will give up! HELP

Hunterswish Thu 09-Jun-11 14:18:50

Hiya smile
My DD is 3 and she is exactly the same! I believe it is because we are with them all the time? We are led by our emotions us "mums" Therefore we are easier to want to please our children and just do everything for them! Dads tend to get them to try and do things for themselves!!! Which of course our little ones could not possibly be able to do things for themselves or they would do it for us, right? grinp
I have also found that at this age they are quite regimented, if you do something once they tend to want to stick to that again and again? I think it is just the fact that we are "Mum" at the end of the day I bet you give in to the demands of DS?
How about trying to encourage more that DS does things with Daddy as it is "Big Boys" things? Shower Gel maybe or matching T shirts? Something to associate himself with Daddy maybe?
I believe Mum will always be first choice because we do so much more for them :0
My OH reads or tells bed stories, which when I do the story I am told off for not saying it the way Daddy does ! Swings and round abouts at this age but it is just a stage.The more Dad just takes on the role of whatever it is DS wants the less time DS will have to question it smile
Good luck
Also OH should not take it to heart as that also enables DS to play up the situation more smile x

puppie Thu 09-Jun-11 16:04:53

Ditto Hunterswish! My DS is exactly the same.

LauLau15 Thu 09-Jun-11 21:19:32

at least im not alone! thanks Hunterswish and Puppie x

pods Thu 09-Jun-11 21:57:19

Hi there, I had to respond to this thread as it really resonated. My dd would not have anything to do with her dad really until very recently (she is now 3 and a half). DH was very hurt and whilst he tried really hard for it not to get him down it really did.
I think its great advice to quietly try and build a bond between them, but the reality is that it does seem to be really normal, its just a phase and they pass through it. For dd she was very mummy focused from an early age, but suddenly her and her dad have turned a corner and its wonderful! I actually quite enjoy it when she cries for daddy now because she has never done that before and I know how important that is to him. She's also cottoned on to how much he loves being told 'I love you' which she now does constantly - ahhh!

So what did it? Just waiting for him to come to her, not forcing it, not being openly hurt, enjoying the time they have on their own together - having special daddy treats (they tend to do swimming and library together). So to your DS's dad, hang in there, it will get better! Good luck smile

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