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I just smacked my 3 year old for first time. Feel so dreadful.

(7 Posts)
maxine5 Thu 09-Jun-11 10:41:48

Message withdrawn

DukesOfTripHazard Thu 09-Jun-11 11:36:23

Stop feeling devastated. It happened. Forgive yourself. Write it all down. What was it that pushed you over the edge?

shuffleballchange Thu 09-Jun-11 12:08:41

Seriously, give yourself a break. Just be more aware next time when he is pushing your buttons. Do give him a cuddle and say you are sorry and "mummy should not have hit you", just so he knows its not ok.

bluebobbin Thu 09-Jun-11 12:12:36

I think a smack on the bum for VERY bad behaviour is acceptable occasionally. Obviously not to really hurt the child, but just to really jolt them into thinking about why they were smacked. OP I would just forget it. I smack my 3yo about once every month or 2 months when she has done something that is either very dangerous or very naughty. I also smack my 5yo about once every 2 months. They would never cry for more than about 5-10 seconds, they are not hurt and I have not lost control, I have done it for a reason and thought about it, rather than just lashing out in anger.

marytuda Fri 10-Jun-11 09:09:38

I slapped my child once on the side of the head at about the same age for the same kind of reasons. Like you I felt horrible, made worse by fact that he then spent the rest of the day trying to smack me back in the same way. Has since long forgotten it (I hope). Haven't done it again though I have felt like it many times. I think the solution is having other ways of dealing with your rage (which is usually appropriate and can/should be shown non-violently I think). I currently shut him outside the room I am in (eg on naughty step or wherever) for short period. Later on I suppose it will be "right, no TV/playing with your friends/treat etc". I don't think one mildly violent incident is damaging, only when it becomes routine. My son is nearly 4 and reasonably well-behaved as boys this age go . . .

skybluepearl Fri 10-Jun-11 13:17:20

you need to forgive yourself. maybe say sorry to son and explain what happened and why. plan what you will do next time your son plays up and stick to it even if you feel very cross. I did the same last year and it has really reinforced that i dont want to parent using smacking. my parents smacked me but i don't want to smack my own kids. intead maybe try using the naughty step or timeout in a boring room - calmy and quietly. means everyone can calm down.

skybluepearl Fri 10-Jun-11 13:19:50

i really didn't want to teach my kids that you can sort out problems with a smack. I also didn't want my kids hitting eachother - so I try to lead by example.

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