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Baby wont be put down and Im knackered!!!!

(5 Posts)
justbeingmummy Thu 09-Jun-11 02:45:11

So as the title says, my baby wont be put down anywhere or for any amount of time. I didnt mind so much when he was first born as all the midwives said he is used to being cuddled up to me etc. and not to worry he would grow out of it, but fast forward 10 weeks and its still the same although he now weighs nearly a stone (big boy!) and Im finding it difficult to cart him around everywhere. Its not too bad at the moment because DP is out of work so we are doing shifts at night and in the day I pass him over whenever I need to do anything but when he finds another job im not sure how I will cope.
He sleeps like a dream and for long periods at a time when being held but wakes up as soon as you put him down anywhere, he hates his crib and I have really tried to wean him off being held. I went days with literally no sleep where I was just putting him down in his crib, on the bed etc. whenever he went off but he just woke straight up again, I would of thought he would of got so tired he would sleep anywhere but he just keeps going, unlike me!!
I do have another DS but he would sleep anywhere and would wake for a bottle in the night and then go straight back to sleep in his cot so not experienced this before.

Any help, advice or night nannies welcome smile x

snailoon Thu 09-Jun-11 05:15:43

Do you have several different carriers/ pouches? Carrying a baby in your arms is really exhausting and you can't do anything else while your arms are occupied. Baby Bjiorn type things are good for short periods, but for hours on end I liked one of the ones that tied the baby to your body more comfortably and didn't have the weight pulling on one spot in my shoulders and back. A back carrier is good for cooking and housework and can be used younger than you might think, depending on the design (think African mums with baby tied to them in a towel--you can get a high-teck version, or a backpack type).

All of our kids were like your baby and wanted to be carried so I just "wore" them on my front and back for a very long time. They were very contented, and, with the right carrier, it is not that tiring because their weight builds up slowly. We also slept with our kids (huge mattress on the floor), which meant nights were pretty easy, with no getting up and trying to settle baby. Our kids were very dependent on me and on breastfeeding for comfort and sleep for quite a long time. Then they became extremely independent.

I know it sounds like I'm bragging and wearing rose-coloured glasses, but honestly it seemed like that was what our instincts told us to do, and, as long as I stuck with it, I didn't go wrong.
You won't catch me bragging about my instincts as a mother of teens.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Thu 09-Jun-11 06:13:01

absolutly agree with snailoon. Started out with a baby bjorn type carrier but ditched it when it got too uncomfortable at 3M. But i'm still wearing ds in a proper sling at 15m (and i'm 22wks pg) if you have a carrier or can borrow one use it, but if it isn't for you/is uncomfy do try a sling instead.

I think some babies just need lots more reassurance that you are there. If you can keep reassuring them by being close eventually they will realise they are safe and secure. If you try to make them independent, not meeting their need for physical closeness, that need doesn't go away, it just remains un-met, and can lead to clingyness.

You are doing the right thing imo letting them fall asleep on you, they are still so tiny! A sling will help you get on with life with your other lo while meeting your ds's needs. But these babies are still hard work so do rope in doesn't always have to be you doing the closeness thing. smile

fraktious Thu 09-Jun-11 06:16:16

If you could carry comfortably would you be happy to continue carrying? If so then look at Ergos, Connectas and Manducas for carriers or get a woven wrap to wear him.

Is co-sleeping an option for you? Will he sleep lying down with your arms around him and you can gradually withdraw the arms then transition to a cot where you stay by him with your hand on his chest?

We cuddle or wear DS to sleep and he's started to go down in his cot or carrycot after being cuddled. I find that if I've worn him to sleep he'll wake up when the motion stops but it allows me to get things done during the day and we are establishing nap times. The method will get there in the end.

It takes a while for babies to get into deep sleep and putting them down to early can wake them completely which means starting the process again.

Parietal Thu 09-Jun-11 06:25:50

If he is asleep in your arms and you put him on a pillow or duvet, would he stay asleep? Cots are very hard & flat, so a pillow might help him transition. Of course, you'd have to be watching that he didn't roll off.

Not sure if swaddling would work at 10 weeks but that is also a great way to keep newborns asleep.

At night, some White noise (eg a detuned radio) might help him not be woken every time you move.

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