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Starting to worry I'm seeing signs of abuse......

(7 Posts)
justilou Wed 08-Jun-11 23:07:11

My neighbours have three daughters. The eldest is 8 and has severe intellectual/learning disability and goes to a special school. While she can be intrusive and inappropriate, she is actually a nice kid.
The younger two, (6&5) leave a lot to be desired. The six year old dresses like a hooker, flirts outrageously with older boys, and reads teen magazines, etc. She steals money from my children, bullies them, breaks their toys, rips books, etc and is basically devious and vindictive. She belittles my six year old for not being interested in reproducing MTV-style dance routines. She is surprisingly sexually precocious in many ways, and is attempting to "educate" my kids.She won't go anywhere without her handbag, and it is always jingling with coins.
The five year old is an angry, hostile little creep who gets violent with my kids - to the point of throwing a broken bottle at my son. When confronted, she acts all cutesy and infantile, or has a completely babyish tantrum.
I see that both of the younger girls are obviously jealous of my kids - we invest quite a bit of time into them in comparison to their parents, etc, but their behaviour is getting worse, not better.
The mother works full time, does all the domestic work in the house, etc. The father is supposedly running a business from home, but spends a lot of time watching tv instead of his kids. (When I told him that I had had to speak to the youngest about the bottle, he said "Thank you" and went back inside and watched TV!) He is nearly forty and still goes out to rave parties on a regular basis. (EW!)
These kids wander the neighbourhood, have caused other neighbours to scream at them for their intrusive, aggressive behaviour, etc. I am now wondering if perhaps that they are being neglected and/or witnessing things they shouldn't be party to.

tomhardyismydh Wed 08-Jun-11 23:20:44

if concerned call SS otherwise just best to keep your children away from them.

But your description of these children pretty much sums it up for me, they are very young and if that is the general opinion what else do they have to aspire to within this neighborhood.

Normalnorman Wed 08-Jun-11 23:23:17

You could be right and it might be worth having a quiet, informal chat with social services so they can perhaps find a discreet way in to see if this family are at the end of their tether and in need of support. It certainly sounds like they have a lot on.

I’m not altogether taken with your tone though and wonder whether your attitude towards the family is adding to an existing mountain of hassle.
Maybe the younger two have issues because Mum & Dad’s time is taken up with their severely disabled older sister. I’m not surprised they feel jealous over the love and attention you lavish on your own child, particularly if they’re made to go without etc. Personally, I’d have taken the “bottle” incident as an opportunity to speak with the child concerned on a one-to-one basis and see how things are going and maybe offer an ear if needed. Maybe you’d have been of some real help then.

How on earth do you know that this father is “supposedly” running a business from home but watches TV all day? What the hell are you doing to know he’s watching the box all day if you’re not watching him watching the box?

And what business is it of yours if he goes out to rave parties?

By all means flag up your concerns with someone but for God’s sake, don’t make matters worse for this family by being an interfering, nosy and quite frankly, stuck up cow.

scurryfunge Wed 08-Jun-11 23:28:16

What Normalnorman said

TheSecondComing Wed 08-Jun-11 23:30:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Wed 08-Jun-11 23:32:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueberryPancake Thu 09-Jun-11 09:56:02

There are different type of people and different types of parents. If there are no signs of physical or sexual abuse or neglect, social services should not be involved. Signs of neglect would be different from your description. You might not agree with how they raise their children, but it doesn't mean that social services should be involved. The best thing would be to not let your children play with them.

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