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Is 6 year gap between DCs better than 4 year gap?

(5 Posts)
Hope88 Wed 08-Jun-11 12:33:09

Hi every one, I have recently started a post about a possible 4 year gap between my children. I am now thinking maybe 6 year gap would be better. I don't know. I don't want to miss my DS1 early years as I can imagine you don't spend much time with the odler one when the baby arrives... What do you think?
I have posted this in a different topic as well. I don't know where is the best place. Sorry if you read it twice...

Flojo1979 Wed 08-Jun-11 14:33:48

There are 4 yrs between my DCs and whilst the older one does get a lil left out thats mainly because hes at school now and the evenings can be taken up with cooking tea etc. But as far as managing the 2 goes, it is hard work, having 2 is nothing like having one, trips to tesco etc become something of a nightmare and even popping round to friends etc becomes hard as keeping control can be difficult. Obviously the older your first child is the more helpful they will be. I do have high expectations of my first one, and hes a good kid and helps out alot, now shes 2 and hes 6 they can often play nicely together and that makes it easier for me to get stuff done. Whilst my first child doesnt always get as much attention from me as i'd like to give, he does however get attention from his sister and is now at an age when friends can come for tea etc etc.

mouseanon Wed 08-Jun-11 14:42:32

I have a 4 yr age gap and soon to have another. I really liked it first time round. It was difficult with a tiny baby and a school run (nursery year) that was a 45 min round trip having to get baby in and out of car and buggy. That didn't last long though. DD was old enough to understand why she sometimes had to wait for me to see to the baby. Mostly she was just delighted with him and would sing to him if he was grizzly and I was busy, and keep him entertained in the back of the car.

If anything I think it's the younger one that misses out a bit as they get lugged around after the older one but that would be no different at 4 or 6 tbh. I think this time will hopefully be easier in that DC 1 and 2 will both be at school in September so we'll only have a couple of weeks fitting in the pre-school run for DS and I'll have help in that time. School is walking distance so baby will be able to stay put in the pram rather than being transferred between car and pram.

I think from my experience it might be easier when the older child is at school but I can't see there's much benefit, once they are in school, of waiting until they are 6. If anything it might be harder again then as the older child is more likely to have extra curricular activities that you'd need to take baby along to.

MovingAndScared Wed 08-Jun-11 15:06:47

I had a 4 year gap - it was fine - he was at preschool and really enjoyed having a baby brother -he did loose a bit of attention but I don't think he really suffered - and as I work he got more time with me than he would have done at a lovely age - and I was around when he started school etc
he is young enough now at 5 to enjoy some little kids things such as some cbeebies and the park and will be for sometimes- and they do sort of play together - with 6 years there be much less in common I think - and agree about the after school stuff doesn't really get going until yr1/2 -also gaps are only can be planned so much - I wanted a 3 year gap!!

Hope88 Wed 08-Jun-11 21:40:26

Thank you everyone!

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