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3.5yo hitting and kicking.

(8 Posts)
GwendolineMaryLacey Wed 08-Jun-11 08:15:24

I'm sure this has been done 99,000 times...

The last month or so DD has taken to lots of hitting and kicking. 'Luckily' this is just family so far and hasn't happened (to my knowledge) at nursery. Three or four times a day now she has these episodes and we've tried everything. She doesn't have a favourite toy so taking them away makes no difference. We've tried naughty step, reward chart, turning off cbeebies, stern words and telling off, cuddles and reasoning, distraction, everything we can think of but to no avail.

Is there something else could try? It's getting ridiculous now. She's such a lovely child at all other times.

TIA smile

GwendolineMaryLacey Wed 08-Jun-11 18:16:19


madhousewife Wed 08-Jun-11 18:58:07

Hi, I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I can sympathise. My 3.5 DD has been a complete nightmare these past few weeks. I don't know what has gotten into her but we have complete melt downs any where from 1 -4 times a day. I'm at the end of my tether with her and I don't know what to do. Apparently she is an angel at nursery (which is 'lucky' like you say!), but for me we had a constant drone of screams b/c she wanted a yogurt, I gave it to her, but it wasn't the right one, a few hours later her leggings were too wrinkly at the bottom, and then driving home from the shops we screamed b/c we didn't want to go home, we wanted to go to a cafe. I've ended up losing the plot and screaming back at her b/c like you I"ve tried the time outs, the naughty step, no TV, rewards, extra attention, etc. etc. and I'm exhausted, worried, angry and frustrated.
Maybe it's a three thing, I have noticed quite a few threads on here dealing with the terrible threes. Maybe have a look back and you might find something that works for you
Good luck. xx

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Wed 08-Jun-11 19:38:29

It's a 3 thing sad .........I hope?!

TarkaLiotta Wed 08-Jun-11 19:57:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wompoopigeon Wed 08-Jun-11 20:04:23

Yes, withdrawing attention works in this household. I just say very firmly, we do not hit, and plonk her in her bedroom for a few minutes.
She rapidly gets the message. You have to be totally consistent though. And provide extra hugs the rest of the time, as presumably something is upsetting her. My DD has dropped her nap, so was getting really over-tired, and then her behaviour degenerated badly.
There's a good book too- 'hands aren't for hitting'. Bit cheesy American but offers a chance to talk about the behaviour when she's not doing it.

Mummyloveskisses Wed 08-Jun-11 23:43:57

I agree with wompoopigeon (fab name) my DD is 3.5yr and although I haven't had exactly the same behaviour there have been almighty tantrums to recover from... I would talk about it when she is calm and happy, ask her how she thinks it feels being hit or kicked talk about kind hands and feet, and then when its happening a firm no, we do not hit/kick and move her away and ignore.

So basically what wompoopigeon said smile

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 09-Jun-11 09:24:43

Thanks all. Looks like ignoring is the way to go then. After a talk, she kicked my dad yesterday angry when I was at work. Then she went up to my parents' bedroom and stood in front of the mirror saying 'Remember what mummy said, no chocolate stars for kicking or hitting. But I didn't kick granddad very much mummy, only a little bit. I'm sorry granddad, sorry" My parents were watching from behind the door grin

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