dd2 not potty trained at 3.1 - should I be getting worried?

[Piccalilli2]

Hoping for some help/reassurance/advice/kick up the backside/whatever really

dd2 started potty training about 3 or 4 months ago. It was very slow going to start with but she is now doing pretty well with being dry and she's happy using the toilet or a potty. But she just won't poo anywhere except in her pants. She has done maybe 3 poos in the potty or toilet and the rest in her pants or on the floor. She's not constipated and doesn't seem distressed by it, and she's not scared of the toilet or anything like that. We tried bribery/reward charts to no avail and I am trying so hard not to get cross with her but it is getting very difficult. Some people have advised giving up for a bit but it seems counter-intuitive to go backwards when she's practically dry.

Any experience/advice? All her friends from outside nursery were trained months ago. I feel like such a failure.

[Firawla]

I wouldn't give up with it personally, as you say she's practically dry so i do think it would be a backwards step, possibly the poo thing is something that will just eventually click with her?? my ds is also less reliable with poo, so im thinking generally they find it easier to train themselves with wee and will get it eventually? mine has nighttime nappy so quite often he is doing in that which avoids the issue in the day time but have had a few accidents in pants, although seems to be getting better so maybe it just takes time? I think all you can do is keep on with it really, would try not to get cross with her for it but dont give a lot of attention just clean her and try to remind her next time try to use the toilet? I do know some of my friends who had not started potty training their dc at 3.1 or not yet there at 3.1 at all, so I wouldn't feel like your dd or you are such a failure, and wouldn't worry tooo much i'm sure she will get it?

[whomovedmychocolate]

Stop worrying. DD didn't really get potty training till she was four and a bit. Some kids just take longer. It's not about willingness either, it's a physical issue, some kids take longer to learn to hold it and some kids just plain don't like the toilet. If it's a pooing issue are you sure she's not constipated (treat with soft fruit, lots of water and exercise if so.)

[Cattleprod]

You're doing better than me. DS is also 3.1, has no interest in using the toilet, flatly refuses to wear pants, even 'ones like Daddy's' or ones with Lightning McQueen on them. Ditto pull-ups. He'll happily sit down in the middle of the pavement and do a poo in his nappy. Not the slightest bit interested in the chocolate easter egg sitting on the side as a bribe reward for doing his first wee in the potty. I've tried everything I can think of.

I'm hoping he'll suddenly decide he wants to use the toilet. I think I'm in for a long wait.

[4madboys]

they are all different, my ds1 out of nappies at 18mths then ds2 was threeish and a nightmare with pooes like you describe, for MONTHS! i tried everything and did on occasion loose my temper and shout at him, nothing helped and then one day he just did it!

ds3 was three years ish and fairly easy.

now ds4 was three in march is TOTALLY CAPABLE, of using the potty, tells me i have done two wees in my nappy, goes off to poo in private but will NOT be without a nappy. have tried bribery, letting him choose big boy pants, copy his elder brothers etc, but he point blank refuses!

i am going to wait till summer holidays so i don thave to worry about school runs etc and let him be naked in the garden in the hope that weeing against a tree will do it.....

[Piccalilli2]

Thank you everyone that makes me feel a bit better. Think I will grit my teeth and carry on for the moment and hope it just clicks one day. I'm pretty sure she's not constipated as she does 'go' every day just not on the toilet. Everyone says girls and second babies are easier! Dd1 was trained in a couple of weeks so I just wasn't expecting this to be so hard, but she is trying and I suppose that's something