Dd1 is 4 next month. Over the last few weeks her behaviour has been pretty trying. She's been wetting herself and not telling me, being deliberately disobedient, engineering reasons to have a tantrum, she has also been waking in the night crying, maybe once a week or more and often not lucid.
Don't know if all these things are linked. I'm sure dh and I aren't helping matters. We are both knackered, dd2 has been waking several times a night. Dh is spending all hours trying to build a business website. Dd1, while generally self-sufficient, talks non-stop, morning till night and is very wearing. We are low on patience and feel like we are constantly nagging her to leave dd2 along, stop doing this and that etc. Dh has more patience than me. I am often more focused on dd2 who is 8mo and bfed. I also generally have less tolerance for tantrums over minutitiae, 'I wanted to go first, I wanted a different cup, I don't want to tidy up', and prolonging bed time in various ways, inevitably leading to a tantrum. I don't think she is anxious about anything. She loves her sister, is very chatty and outgoing. She starts school in sept but is v excited about it.
Anyone gone through a similar phase and any tips or at least reassurance I'm not doing a shit job?!
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Dd1 behaving badly. I'm not dealing with it v well. Becoming a negative spiral.
Bumperlicioso · 04/06/2011 18:44
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" I know I just need to be the bigger person here, but I just hate giving into her once she's started moaning." You sound just like me. 
The only way I'm the bigger person sometimes with DS (whos 6 now btw and starting boundary pushing/ answering back again) is physically . Sometimes I can hear myself saying subconsiously 'just stop arguing your older than him'. 
Are you actually me?
DD1 has just turned 4 and is starting to infuriate both of us beyond belief and we're struggling to deal with it.
We also have two others who demand our time and attention, so hopefully this is just DD1's way of trying to get our attention 
. DH and I keep saying "we must be more positive with DD1 and ignore the naughtiness" but by God it's hard to do in practice when she screams like a banshee because some mayonnaise is on her sandwich or her sister has something she would now like to play with.
Delaying tactics at bedtime are getting ridiculous. DH is less able to go up and put them back to bed without entering into a conversation, and when I do I feel like I'm The Mean Parent. We've just started a sticker system for a couple of things for her (not wetting the bed for one, and going straight to sleep in the evening) - making some headway, so I'll let you know how that goes.
You are Not Alone! :o
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