Our dd was three weeks old yesterday and we're coming round to the realisation that she probably has colic. She's been difficult to settle from the outset but in the last three or four days her cries have gone from normal baby moans to irate, angry screams. The only way we can settle her is by either feeding or carrying in a sling. Last night I doubt whether she would have slept at all without me holding her in her sling. It's rare if not quite unknown for her to sit awake for 10 minutes without creating. Needless to say, my wife (who's breastfeeding) and I are starting to panic a little. Obviously we're going to try and fight this but what I'm wondering is should we resign ourselves to this for the foreseeable?
It is very hard, but it is normal. And it may not feel ike it but it wll pass!
At least she will be settled by feeding or carrying. She isn't 'angry', just getting used to this new world. Your presence is a comfort to her, even if it doesn't feel like it!
What is it you want to 'fight'?
Sorry, when I said fight I meant get her over the discomfort - ie try everything to make her happier rather than just assume that she's going to be unhappy. It's upsetting to see her so discontent and hard not to feel that you're making mistakes. Thanks for the link
Oh, no, you are not making mistakes at all! Please don't doubt yourself. It is nothing you are doing or not doing. It's just babies! They are a bit of a shock to the system. My first one was pretty easy going and when ds2 came along, my goodness, it was a shock.
Most people find their babies get a bit more used to things areoud 12-14 wks. That may seem ages right now, but you will get there.
Parenthood does get easier!
Around three weeks babies go through a growth spurt. They'll feed more so their little bodies are having to digest more and also just generally they are growing so fast, that must cause some discomfort (growing pains). Also at birth and for a while afterwards their digestive system is not yet fully developed. It's a difficult time but just take it one day at a time and it will soon improve! Hang in there, you're doing things right =)
Poor you! I totally understand what you're going through. DS was colicky until he was about five months, at which point he became (and continues to be), the most good natured kid ever.
Sounds to me like you've already identified the tools with which to fight this i.e. feeding and a sling. I'm serious. Is your DC BFing? If so, it'll be a godsend. Take up residence in the living room with DVD box sets,'plenty to eat, a phone, and something to drink. If comfort sucking and being held is what comforts her, then so be it.
Overnights will no doubt be challenging. Co-sleeping or part co-sleeping will help you both. If you're not into this as an idea (I wasn't - I need my bed to myself to get a proper night's sleep), it absolutely doesn't mean your DD will be in with you until she's 5! Definitely got us through the first six months at which point DS became a 7 till 7 sleeper. Regardless, your DW will need your help overnight. Or she might just go mad! Bottle of infacol or colief might be useful.
Looking back on it, the worst thing about DS's colic was how much we worried about it. Is he feeding too much? Is he in pain? I should be able to put him down. Am I making a rod for my own back?! I really wish we'd saved our energy and just done what he was directing us to do which was hold him, and feed him. Eventually it all stops. And looking on the brightside, every seemed so much easier once it had stopped. Four years later my DH says that the demanding colic days gave him an opportunity to be a really 'equal' parent. It's really apparent to us how interchangeable we are as parents to both our kids. DH had no choice but to be very very hands on otherwise I would have never had any sleep and he was always better at settling than I was. We're still benefitting from this now.
This will be ok! Good luck or I'm serious about DVD boxsets! I was particularly fond of the West Wing.
PS Sorry about the typos, and get a good sling. Moby sling is great.
Appreciate the replies, thanks folks
Limelight - my wife has breastfed from the start and has been an absolute star. She's stuck in and worked hard at it and really doesn't want to give up. We've basically watched telly for the last two days and the odd thing is that our dd is sleeping beautifully in the sling. Put her down and she's crying in minutes. She does seem to be straining as if she's getting stomach cramps and quite often that's what starts her off being upset. Another bonus is that she's feeding well butit's fair to say that she's miserable when she's out of the sling or not feeding. DVD box sets sound a good idea - we're through 24 but might start again and we've got a couple of series of the wire to go. I think the two of us have already accepted that we're going to have to tough this out and make the best of it
We've got a coorie pouch sling which a friend of my sister's designed. It's been our saving grace for the past 72 hours!
cookie, you sound like you are being a great support to your wife.
Breastfeeding wil help, even if it feels hard going atm. As well as all the obvious good things about it, the extra contact, the easier to digest milk and the oxytocin will help both your lo and your dw.
Ds2 was hard going at first and i used to get into bed every night (or morninrg) and congratulate myself for managing another day! But after those early weeks, it got easier and one day I realised I loved it!
It is normal for babies this small to not settle unless on a warm person. Makes total sense if you think about our survival. Remember if you are both knackered to enlist family and friends. Few people won;t jump at the chance to cuddle the baby while you get a needed break! Even half an hour makes a big difference. If baby cluster feeds, try to get a good meal early in the evening or late afternoon so you can eat with two hands!
You'll get there. Keep doing what you are doing.
Agree with above posters. It is really emotionally and physically demanding to have a colicky baby. You just have to find your own ways to help your baby and yourselves, and know that it will not last forever. My dh spent many an evening in the downstairs loo (only place to go with hope of not waking other kids), cuddling ds, with the window open (the fresh air seemed to help), flushing the toilet with his foot, as the noise seemed to help ds's suffering. It is really horrible, and you just wish you could have it for them. Get through it together as a family and it will make you a stronger unit in the end.
Don't believe the 12 week thing, it lasts longer than that, but eases gradually and becomes a thing of the past! Good luck.
Colic is a really vague explanation I found, because no one really knows what 'colic' is. 3 weeks is a very early stage in the baby's development. You could try any number of safe remedies and all, some, or none of them will work. Colief drops really worked for my DS although if your wife is breastfeeding they are a real faff to use. I also gave my ds fennel tea mixed with every feed and I noticed a difference right away as it helps to ease spasms in the gut. Try a few things along with what you are already doing, maybe one will work for your LO! Hugs x
In a strange way you feel a bit more parenty because you're doing so much more for the little one than just feeding and changing nappies. Last night we both had four hour stints with her on the sofa which meant we all got some sleep but I go back to work next Monday and I'm a bit worried about what I'm leaving behind. A week's a long time though and the time might make a big difference, who knows. We've started using colief and hopefully that might make a difference
I used colief 2 weeks ago and my LO has stopped the 7pm - 10pm screaming.
It was so upsetting, but colief has been brilliant. I dare not run out.
Now my little one is better rested ie.. not screaming for 3 hours each night in pain, he seems to sleep better too.
He cat naps throughout the day, but settles around 8pm.
Hope your little one feels better soon. It's so distressing - I remember crying with him, not knowing how to console him.
My LO is 9 weeks.
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