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Is pre-occupation with death normal for a 3 year old?!?

(5 Posts)
CrazyOVERbaby Sat 04-Jun-11 09:28:05

My 3.5 yo DD is becoming increasingly obsessed with death. Despite explaining to her that Mummy and Daddy are not going to die (touch wood!!) any time soon, and it's not something that she needs to worry about, she gets really worked up. The other day she said that when we die, she'll look after her baby sister! And she frequently get tearful when we talk about her getting older (going to school, going to college, getting a job etc) as she thinks that as she gets older we're going to snuff it and leave her.

The only reason we can think of that may have sparked this pre-occupation is her grandad dying when she was a baby. Obviously we are keen to make him a part of her life and do bring him into conversation at times.

Is this normal and what's the best course of action?!?!

Tommy Sat 04-Jun-11 09:42:52

I would think it's normal. Children just okay what they know so if you've talked about grandad dying then it's only natural for them to talk about it too. Do you have a photo of Grandad so she can see that he was old and knows that you're not?
Why are you talking about her growing up, getting a job etc? hmm she's 3!
They talke verything very literally at this stage but mostly (IME) it's harmless. DS1 had imaginary friends at this age and one day he announced that their mum had died so they were going to live with their Grandma - he was quite matter as fact about it. This had just happened to some friends so it was part of his experience IYSWIM.

CrazyOVERbaby Mon 06-Jun-11 13:22:13


reddaisy Mon 06-Jun-11 13:25:06

DD (2.5) is getting a bit obsessed too. I think it started when Coral died in Finding Nemo!! Then she started asking questions and now brings death up at least once a day! I think it is just a phase where they are trying to get their heads around a difficult concept but one they need to understand at some point. I also answer questions honestly (without being too graphic) as I want her to know the facts about things but I reassure her at the same time.

BlooCowWonders Mon 06-Jun-11 13:35:54

preoccupation with anything is very common in a 3yr old! Could be red buses, why the sky changes colour, food or death.

Just keep reassuring and then change the subject. It'll no doubt be something else soon enough!

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