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defiant 6yr old please helllllpppp|!!!

(8 Posts)
yummmymummy1 Fri 03-Jun-11 20:38:49

Wondered if anyone could help, I am new to these boards and need some help

Anyway I'll cut it as short as I can, my 6 year old daughter has always been strong willed and very headstrong in everything shes ever done. She was actually running rather than walking at 1 year of age as soon as she has mastered something she is onto the next very quickly.

Which brings me full circle, she is getting so much for me now I am struggling, she started school last year and has since got worse. She has attitude 'So what, take my toy away' etc, I am sure I am suffering a lot more than her in this what seems a power struggle. She wont do as she is told, and answers me back in a sarcastic horrible shrug shoulder I dont care manner when I ask her to do something. It has happened very fast in the last few months and I am at my wits end.

Wondered if anyone could help. I dont do the smacking, the boredom sitting in the middle of the floor doesn't work now as she is crafty and fidgets the whole time eventually ending up the other side of the room if I am not looking. She doesn't listen to me or my explanations when I tell her off.

I feel as though I am being blind to it at the moment, I feel there is a simple answer here but I just cant think for worrying.

I possibly worry more about her becomming a teen and getting a lot worse than this, I kinda want to nip it in the bud and stop the attitude while she is young. Its got worse in the last 3 months, there have been no changes as home and ruled everything else out.

i have tried sticker charts and golden tickets but she just dosnt seem to be bothered by any of these rewards or diciplines and i feel realy bad that i keep loosing my temper when she pushes me to far

libbylobs Fri 03-Jun-11 21:57:59

ws trying to get back to you but trying to get my dd 6y old to bed , the thing is
i have a 29 yr old a 27 yr old a 22 yr old and my 6 yr old aND balieve me she is more strong willed than any of them , so i need help also so sorry. x

aseriouslyblondemoment Fri 03-Jun-11 22:03:32

does dd have other siblings?

FionaJT Fri 03-Jun-11 22:52:52

No answers, just checking in to say that I have a 6yr old dd like this too, and will watch with interest. Also, i have had this same sort of discussion with a few Mums of her classmates in the playground over the last few months, so am sort of hoping that this teen attitude thing may be a phase.

ilovepesto Sat 04-Jun-11 21:37:42

Mine has been going through this 'phase' for years. Mine is now 9 and believe me the defiance is getting no better. I'm so worried for mine and feel that he could end up a delinquent. I don't do smacking either but after 8 hours straight of tantrums I tried smacking - nope, made no difference whatsoever, he just carried on with his defiance. I'm at my wits end. I'll also wait to see if anyone comes up with some techniques (or miracle) on how to deal with it. Ps. this week he's grounded for the whole week - I'll let you know if it makes any difference. Don't hold your breath though.

Popbiscuit Sat 04-Jun-11 22:00:21

Hi Yummy. Another one here with a defiant 6yr old, except mine is a ds. He's very active and rambunctious and also argumentative and strong-willed.
He doesn't seem to care about any of the usual punishments. I've tried taking away favourite toys, removing privileges, time-outs, sending to bedroom, even the odd smack. All to no avail; he just shrugs it off or glazes over when I try to lecture/explain. I have two other DCs that are very well-behaved so feel that it's just something particular to his personality. Frequently lose sleep over worrying that he's a sociopath.
No words of wisdom I'm afraid, just wanted to chime in that you are not alone. Also, as pesto said; smacking makes no difference so stick to your guns on that.
Do you have other DCs? My ds is a middle child and I have noticed that he is better when I can give him undivided attention. Sadly; this doesn't happen very often in our hectic household but I do try.
Someone on another thread talked about making a list of house rules and posting it and also using a reward system (marbles in a jar) for good behaviour which we are trying at the moment. He seems intrigued by it so I'll keep you posted.

MumblingRagDoll Sun 05-Jun-11 00:57:22

Me too! My DD speaks like a teenger to me at times....all "so what" and "So?" when I tel her to behave in a certain way...I remove treats etc but it doesn't work! I thinkI will try a good talking to her and explainig a few things.

Or a star chart. hmm

jenmelbourne Mon 06-Jun-11 08:10:36

My DD is 5 1/2, and you all could be describing her! It's a shame that no one seems to have posted any replies that are HELPFUL (not that the sympathising "i have one too" isn't nice to know we're not alone, but not strategically hepful!).

My DD started prep this year (we're in VIC, Australia, I think it's Kindergarten in USA and some other states here)..... she's quite able to do the work, but gets distracted VERY easily, to the point that the teacher wants to isolate her from the other kids and separate her when they're doing worksheets.
She can't pay attention for any length of time (her teacher also says she's not bad enough to have ADD or ADHD), she's being kept in during lunchtimes to finish the work she doesn't get done.
At home she's rude and demanding - she's always been stubborn, but the whole lack-of-attention thing i've never noticed because it's never been a problem at home because there's no requirement to pay attention to anything for any length of time.

I'm definitely not ant-smacking, but in her case it really doesn't help. The only thing that works is putting her into bed and telling her to stay there until she can calm herself down. She usually comes out about 15 minutes later completely calm and back to being happy. Giving her her own space and time to work out her mood seems to be helpful for her. Doesn't work with all kids though.

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