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Desperate mum - need help! :(

(7 Posts)
Lilagemm Fri 03-Jun-11 08:49:47

Hello.

I am currently a mum to an almost 4 year old (3 years, 10 months) and 8 weeks pregnant with my second.

At the moment I am finding my DS really difficult to deal with... Whenever I ask or tell him to do something its met with a no and usually a big strop. Sometimes this will result in him throwing things around his room or at me. DS also hits me and his dad. He sometimes headbutts or hits me in the tummy, his dad gets it worse though, my little boy will just walk past him sometimes and it him. And DS listens even less to his dad.

I have tried all sorts to discipline him and nothing seems to work.

I am absolutely desperate and would really appreciate some help. TIA.

AnnieLobeseder Fri 03-Jun-11 08:53:38

Sadly, it's just a thing that most children this age go through. My DD2 (3.3) is much better at it than her sister was!

Everything I ask is met with "No!", even if it's something she likes! I think it's an age when they start to learn that they are independent individuals and can have an opinion of their own.

When she starts to act up, tamtruming or hitting, we just take her up to her room and tell her she can come down when she's ready to behave.

Make sure you never let the hitting slide - always, always pull him up for it, even if it's the millionth time in an hour and you're exhausted.

I realise it really can't be fun when you're pg. He will grow out of it. Patience!

Lilagemm Fri 03-Jun-11 09:01:45

I was just scared that this was going to be the way he would be forever!

Whenever I put DS in his room he throws everything out. What should I do about that? confused

CrapolaDeVille Fri 03-Jun-11 09:09:22

Normal, but physical aggression must never be tolerated or ignored. I would ignore tantrums but definitely time out for hitting, immediately. When he hits calmly put him in TO and tell him why. Give him 3-4 minutes and he has to say sorry. Mean what you say....

You could also try rewarding good behaviour, with stickers or treats (30 minutes TV if he doesn't hit all morning).

Lilagemm Fri 03-Jun-11 09:22:51

Thanks for the help guys. I'll give it a try. smile

CharlotteBronteSaurus Fri 03-Jun-11 09:32:36

dd1 is just 4 and despite being a fairly angelic 2-3 year old she is now very stroppy. it's very exhausting.

like most others on the thread, we ignore the strops, removing dd1 from the room we're in, and telling her we will listen to her when she has calmed down. sometimes she burns herself out in 30 seconds. the other night it took an hour. we also have a sticker chart for "calm bedtimes" as the stropping was worse at this time of day, plus i hate it when we go to bed on a row. so if we get from 6pm - 7pm without a strop she gets a sticker.

it's hard when things don't improve straight away, but ignoring will work in the longer term.
<crosses fingers>

plipplops Fri 03-Jun-11 10:43:54

I'd agree not to let hitting you go. DD1 (almost 4) got into a habit of hitting me quite a bit (never anyone else though). Now if she does it it's straight on the naughty step, or strapped in the pram if we're out, or she did it at a friends house the other day and I strapped her in the car for a few minutes. Now when she looks like she's ramping up I remind her that if she hits me she'll go on the naughty step and that usually stops her. Good luck!

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