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7 year old DS - just introverted or genuinely unhappy?

(9 Posts)
omnishambles Tue 31-May-11 22:12:30

My question is - how do you know if your dc is always going to be an 'introverted' person who is prone to deep thinking in darker moments can seem very down or if it is centred on something specific and when they say they dont like school etc that this is genuinely the case and you should be doing something about it.

Am beginning to be quite worried.

Who do you go to in RL to talk about this sort of stuff? And when do you know to do something about it?

MumblingRagDoll Wed 01-Jun-11 01:06:37

Well....I would be worred if my DC said they didn't like school and if they said it often. My DD is almost 7...year 2. She is introverted...quiet....shy with adults...but she enjoys school and according to teachers she has plenty of friends.

Does your DS complain every day about school? Have you spoken to his teachers to check if he is socialising well? Has he friends?

These are the main questions....some kids are quiet...some are deep thinkers...but they need to be happy at school.

MrsShrekTheThird Wed 01-Jun-11 01:28:12

Mumbling's pretty much covered it.
Truly "introverted" is worrying. Quiet thoughtful types who are simply less boisterous are not as worrying ime. Would seek class teacher's opinion I think?!

MadamDeathstare Wed 01-Jun-11 04:19:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skybluepearl Wed 01-Jun-11 08:15:09

can you take him for a drive somwhere on his own and find out what the issues are?

omnishambles Wed 01-Jun-11 09:07:01

Thanks all. Last September we had to go into the school to discuss his disinterest and at the open evening his teacher said that she knew he was a bit bored - he is one of the eldest in the year and his class are a bit boisterous and so he doesnt have any firm friends - his one friend is leaving in the summer which I am sure he is worried about. They are mixing up the classes in sept for the start of year 3 though as the teachers have acknowledged a problem with the dynamic in his class - it isnt just him.

He does really well at school thats the thing - he just finds it very boring and hates being told what to do all day - he keeps asking to be home schooled even though when we discuss that he says he knows that we would shout at eachother.

Am looking at him now on the sofa and he is perfectly happy - he loves the holidays.

We have discussed sending him to the local school and he says it will be the same as his current school - he just wants to be at home.

The irony is his school is known for its touchy feely pastoral care and they are very good with them. No school counsellors though.

MadamDeathstare Wed 01-Jun-11 13:18:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickschick Wed 01-Jun-11 13:45:45

I genuinely think that 7 is a tricky age they are becoming more aware of themselves and their 'place' my own ds 1,2 and 3 'found' themselves at this age and especially for ds1 & 3 it was a time where they lost there inhibitions and shyness and became more socially aware.

Perhaps his obvious intelligence is putting him in an awkward place? would extra curricular support such as a kumon class with other equally talented children help?,is there a hobby he could participate in,football and other sports tend to be good at giving children 'shared ground'.

If hes not all round miserable and unhappy perhaps you need to adopt a wait and see approach -it is impossible to fullfill all our childrens needs and certainly some of their time will be spent doing things theyd really rather not .... just as we adults do.
Is home schooling an option? is the different school a viable option? could you get him more 'involved' in the school he is at? art class or chess club.

What about his friendships could you encourage a stronger bond with his peers with friends coming around or going to playparks after school?.

omnishambles Wed 01-Jun-11 15:27:04

He already does beavers and judo and enjoys them. I have noticed him gaining in confidence at beavers especially.

They dont have any g&t provision - the teacher said that she was trying to give him more extension work but that it was difficult because he didnt ask for it - he's quite happy to daydream when not stimulated - as am I actually.

We went on a communal holiday recently and it was striking that he managed to make friends and they all went off happily in a big group - just at school it is already very cliquey and so its more difficult - that should end in sept though when lots of new dc arrive/move around.

I agree nickschick - that was my first thought and indeed we have discussed it with him a lot - ie I have to go to work and you have to go to school etc but last night he was asking about what would happen if you killed yourself and it just freaked me out - is it normal to ask questions like that?

He could move to another school but it has got much bigger classes and I think he would like it even less - home schooling isnt an option as I work pt. And I have no patience. And am useless at maths. He does like adult company though - on holiday he loved learning 'survival' skills with his uncles and knots and the like.

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