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Worried about me and my son's behaviour!

(7 Posts)
HystericalMe Mon 30-May-11 12:58:10

When I go to the supermarket, my son makes me so angry!

He wont stand still when queueing to check out, and while we're waiting to pay he tries to grab chocolates or play with the food at the point of sale. If I let go of his arm he runs off and looks at the magazines or gets in the way of the people going out of the door and plays with the automatic doors.

I try telling him what my expectations are, but he gets me so angry because he always misbehaves at this time, so I end up holding his arm really tight and he starts fighting with me. He is nearly 4.

runningonmt Mon 30-May-11 13:12:24

Your son sounds like a smart little cookie. He has figured out standing in a queue to pay is boring so he is making his own entertainment. He can get you to react to him (and pay him attention) quite easily by playing up. Two suggestions - stick him in the trolly and engage with him by asking him to pass you bits one at a time or option 2 - start to shop online. Some kids have less ability than others to be patient - he is just telling you in his own way that he is unhappy with the situation. Involve him in the situation somehow and he wont feel the need to gain your attention in other ways. It took me a long time to figure out that even negative attention (being told off) was better for my DS than no attention from me. My DS has ADHD and has still not perfected the art of patience. Until last year he was still riding around in the trolly getting funny looks from other people but hey, it made our necesarry shopping trips far less stressfull ! Now i am a devotee of on-line supermarket shopping !!!! Good luck.

runningonmt Mon 30-May-11 13:22:27

Forgot to say - it it other peoples reaction that is bothering you and making you 'angry'? Try to remember that each of those smugletts tutting at you in the queue probably dont have kids (or dont remember what joy a 4 year old in the supermarket can bring!!!!) - Sometime a look from them is not disaproval but acknowledgement that most of us have been there, seen it, done it and survived it. BTW supermarkets are designed to be very stimulating (in subtle ways - lighting, smells, colours etc....) Children can react to stimulation in quite predictable ways - he will also feed off your stress as you approach the checkout - you are certainly not alone in your frustration and your honesty in the title of your post is refreshing !!!!!!! Try to stay sane and keep smiling ! (hugs)

cory Mon 30-May-11 19:26:39

Very common, this. You can either strap him in a buggy/put him on reins (and point out that this is what happens to little children who can't stand still, but that big boys get to walk on their own) or you can be nice to him and try to distract him by letting you help you fetch and carry or start telling him a story as you approach the queue. Or you can do a bit of both.

Mummyloveskisses Mon 30-May-11 19:33:13

DD 3.5yrs is very similar which is why I don't let her walk smile She has to go in the trolley which she protests about, but if she goes in she can have a ride on the machine outside afterwards.... sometimes she says... I don't want a ride I want to walk and I say OK but if your not in the trolley I can't buy you chocolate for after dinner... and then she gets in... and after checkout asks for the ride!!!

Oh and I write 2 shopping lists hers and mine I tell her every item I am searching for and she ''finds'' it first everytime!!!! She is soooo clever lol

And finally at the checkout, either sing songs if the cue is long or play eye spy... we do something etc as she is a bit young for beginning with a letter..... then when your packing he can count items into bag or ''remember'' what you bought.... and finally finally I let her get the receipt!

Mummyloveskisses Mon 30-May-11 19:34:46

note I do know how to spell.... honestly smile meant queue not cue x

HystericalMe Thu 02-Jun-11 14:07:27

Oh gosh - I stopped using the buggy long ago. Yes I could try strapping him in and giving him a beaker of water/apple juice for the queue moments. D'oh - that would be perfect. Thanks.

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