Straining/grunting noise for attention from 3 year old.(6 Posts)
Firstly I'm new to mumsnet so please don't strike me down if I make a faux pas!
I'd really be grateful for any advice on the following issue we are having with our 3 year old son.
We adopted our little boy 2 months ago, he is 3 at the end of June and 90% of the time has been a lovely, happy little boy who has made a great attachment to us. Recently, over the last couple of weeks, when he wants our attention, ususally at bed time, he starts making a very loud grunting/straining noise, at first we went to see what the problem was but it became very clear very quickly that it was to gain our attention and delay sleeping. He also makes this noise first thing in a morning when he wants to get out of bed, when he first arrived he was more than capable of getting out of bed himself and letting us know he wanted his breakfast. I've explained to him, at his level, that when he wants something he is to ask for it properly and we won't respond to the noise. Of course now he is testing to see how far he can push us, last night he woke up at 3am and did it for 10 minutes before falling asleep. We have a good bedtime routine in place and make sure he knows we are nearby as he hasn't been with us that long.
For the last couple of days we have been ignoring it and only attending to him when he speaks properly, I feel like a cow doing this but don't know what other approach to take, so any advice would be wonderful!
Thanking you in advance.
It sounds like you are doing fine to me, I would keep ignoring it if he is meant to be sleeping. If he is awake and with you, just tell him you can't understand him and ask him to speak properly. I am sure he will soon realise he gets a much better response by speaking to you.
I am a foster carer and we have a little boy (been with us for a year now). He couldn't speak at all when he came; he just grunted. He was younger than your son though. Now he almost never grunts but it did take a long time. Im guessing it is what he used to do.....maybe not. Good luck with your new lovely boy xx
I would give him loads of over the top praise wen he talks properly "I love it when you talk like a big boy" "you're so clever asking nicely" etc etc then when he grunts try not to make a big deal of it and just say nicely "do you think you can ask me like a big boy does". I'm sure you're doing all this already but just a thought. Maybe it was his way of getting attention before and now he's settled he's relapsing slightly.
Good luck x
Thank you everyone for your replies. I've ignored it as much as possible today, let's see what tonight brings!
Well after just one night of us ignoring this behaviour completely (he did do it several times in the night) he has stopped it completely! He said to me he didn't want to make "that silly noise" anymore and wanted to be a big boy. :-)
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