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4 year old will only poo in nappy

(8 Posts)
lolaandcharlie Mon 21-Feb-11 21:00:00

My 4 1/2year old has been able to have a wee on the toilet for well over a year. She is now at school and uses the toilet at school to have a wee, but will only have a poo in a nappy at home. It is very difficult if we try and go out for the day, and any after school activities are out of the question at the moment, as she needs to go as soon as she gets home every day.

I have tried incentives - sticker charts or sweets, but she just seems to be too scared of going on the toilet for some reason. I hoped that peer pressure at school would help, but that has not worked either. Any suggestions?

InvaderZim Mon 21-Feb-11 21:02:32

Have you tried the book about the poo going to pooville? I'm sure someone who gas a copy will be along shortly.

tribpot Mon 21-Feb-11 21:18:27

My ds was the same - he's 5 1/2. For ages after he would wee on the toilet he would insist on a nappy just to do a poo. In fact even now I'm pretty sure he won't do a poo at school, but waits til he's at home. However, it hasn't been as difficult as for you as he isn't holding it in to do straight after school, normally goes before school in the morning.

I don't know if I'd try sticker charts etc, although others will have more experience. I don't think she can help not wanting to poo on the toilet.

Ds very much likes to be left alone to do his poo (as, in fact, do I!) - I assume you're not hovering?

It will work out in the end but I do sympathise with how frustrating it must be.

containher Tue 22-Feb-11 17:01:12

In my life BC i was a Nanny and I did a temporary trouble shooting job with a 5 year old ( due to start school). He would only poo in his nappy and would hold on for DAYS if his parents refused to give him his nappy.
Heres' what we did, and it worked for that family- so maybe worth a try?

Day one-took him to see the doctor, who did an abdominal check to make sure there wasn't anything 'going on' that we didn't know about- although not constipated he prescribed a glucose (i think) syrup to loosen the stools so that we were certain that he wasn't in pain and so he couldn't hold onto his poo for days.

explained to him that from now on, he was only to use the pull up for poo's and would need to wear pants at all other times- then when he needed a poo he would come and get a pull up- but I told him,he was only allowed to poo(in pull up) whilst in the bathroom next to the toilet. To begin with , he didn't volunteer the informaion that he needed a poo- so I sent him with a pull up- off to the toilet at intervals throughout the day.

When he finally began to volunteer the information he needed a poo- and it became second nature- then I told him that if he wanted to poo in a pull up- he would have to be be sitting on the toilet or potty with the pull up on.

after a few day of this being accepted and him sitting on the toilet with the pull up- and when he was comfortable with the situation I then cut a hole in the bottom of the pull up ( sounds odd- I know- but I think he was worried about the poo 'falling' out of him? or something he couldn't articulate- but i thought a total gradual process was the only way as his parents had called me in because they had tried everything else- including creams for his bum so it didn't tear- when he got so constpiated form holding it in)

day by day- i cut the hole bigger and bigger- until he just was wearing the waistband of the pull up- and holding a whole intact unused pullup in his hands for comfort-(sounds wierd) - then he progressed into wearing no pull up, but doing a poo in the potty- onto a pull up in the bottom of the potty.

If you try this, make sure you insist he tries potty and toilet otherwise, you will have to 'wean' him off the potty later on.

Maybe give this a try, if all else has failed.

lolaandcharlie Tue 22-Feb-11 19:29:54

Thanks for all the advice.

Will look for book in library.

She currently asks for a nappy each time she needs a poo, and then likes to play on her own in the bedroom. I just leave her to it. I have tried to get her to do it in the bathroom (with a nappy on), which she did not agree to, but will try again, and explain that it is really normal to use the bathroom! And then try and move on to the toilet. I hadn't thought of cutting a hole in the nappy! Thanks, will give it a go.

smashingtime Tue 22-Feb-11 19:58:35

My 3 nearly 4 yr old is the same. Will only poo with nappy on but sits on potty or toilet! Is driving me insane as she has done a poo without a nappy on twice now so she knows it doesn't hurt or anything confused

I like the idea of cutting a hole in the nappy although not sure what the problem is with dd??

lovereallyhurts Tue 22-Feb-11 20:21:17

Hi, my DD, nearly 4, would only do a poo in the potty until recently. It turned out one of the things she didn't like about pooing in the loo was the splash, so I put lots of loo roll in the loo first. Also offered lots of bribes. Now she'll even poo in the loo at nursery, which is big progress! Maybe these things might help?

smallsaz Fri 08-Jul-11 11:55:07

Just started potty training son 2yrs and 9mths. For 2 days it was going well, he did lots of wees on potty, but when he started to need a poo (which co-incided with him starting a runny nose and conjunctivitis) he started holding it in. Have given him fruit (as i always do anyway) and lots to drink but he is very upset and will now only wee after lots of coaxing. He has even woken for the last 2 nights crying talking about poo and saying "ow". dilemma is this... do i stop now and try another time? I had major problems with my older daughter potty training leading to encopresis and did not get better til she started school (she is ok now) so i'm anxious not for history to repeat. My middle daughter was a breeze to train!

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