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wont wash

(3 Posts)
blondie11 Sun 16-Jan-11 17:45:01

Its a struggle to get my 11yr old DD to wash and make a little effort with her appearence, she can often smell quite bad of BO, and can get out the shower smelling the same as when she got in, same with her hair, can be as greasy after a wash as before, i know it's not physical as if i get cross and practically stand over her she 'scrubs up' well, its the same with clothes, if i take her shopping, she just does not want to be there and talks to me like dirt, i could cry it gets that bad, i let her choose what she wants, bt still she just stands there giving me the evils, i dont have much money at all bt always try to do my best for both my DDs. Have tried to talk to her and have said we all have to take care of personal hygene, and have to buy new clothes from time to time. The odd thing is she wants to be more popular at school and has told me so many times that people dont like her, and wants to be more popular, most of the girls in her year (just gone to big school sept)are starting to be interested in 'girly' things so i dont understand why she is like this. Other than all this she is very bright, in all the top classes at school, takes an interest and has an oppinion about all kinds of current issues, has a great sence of humour. what can i do to help her be happy, i love her so much it brakes my heart to see her so down on herself

TheVisitor Sun 16-Jan-11 17:52:21

It's not uncommon for an 11 year old to be a bit of a soapdodger. However, she shouldn't need you to stand over her to get clean once she's in the shower. It sounds like clothes and fashion aren't that important to her, using her brain is more important. As strange as this sounds, maybe give her a reward chart for showering properly every day? If she does the whole week then a small treat. Make sure she's got a good deodorant. As for you crying when she speaks to you like dirt, don't. Pick her up on it and don't let her get away with it. Don't drag her shopping if she's a pain, choose stuff for her. If she's got a problem with this, then she needs to sort out her attitude. Good luck!

blondie11 Sun 16-Jan-11 19:06:43

Thanks may just try buying her clothes for her,like you say her prob, i do come down hard on the attitude. just gets me down, the constant fall outs every time we clothes shop or have to do anything remotely girly. Think your right clothes and fashion not important to her, shame she gets upset the girls who love it dont want to be mates with her. will try the small reward thing

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