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Controlled Crying- isn't all bad ( long)

(2 Posts)
containher Thu 13-Jan-11 18:03:29

I am prepared to be vilified- but I really think that C.C is really the very best and most effective way to solve deep set and prolonged sleeping issues! Yes there are ‘gentler’ approaches, but in my experience ( of which I have a lot- as a night nanny/maternity nurse/sleep trainer and mummy) they take longer and are more confusing for the child. I would like to give support to all of those who are considering C.C. I have seen a lot of negative comments on here regarding C.C- and I often think that those parents who think it is ‘cruel’ are really passing judgment without knowing the full facts. They certainly don’t know the individual situations. Some babies don’t respond to baby whisperer techniques, some parents are so sleep deprived, the no cry sleep method will take too long, if it works at all! I know for certain, that some children seem more confused when they receive mixed messages when parents use the ‘pick-up-put-down’ method. The poor child is relieved to be in mummy’s arms, to then suddenly be put back down- to me that is cruel. Lot’s of the gentler approaches just prolong the agony for both child and parent. Parents are driven to do C.C for a reason, some babies don’t naturally fall into a reasonable sleep pattern, some babies fight sleep, and unless you have experience with a truly difficult sleeper, then it wrong pass comment. It is the aim for the child to give up crying, that is the whole point, you want the child to learn that you won’t jump at every whimper no matter how frequent or loud they protest, during the night . It is my experience that children who have been C.C into a better sleep pattern still have a fantastic bond with their parents. When they ask for attention in the day they get their needs met, they don’t ‘give up’ during waking hours, parents who are able to and need to use CC as a means of making their and their child’s life a better experience should be reassured that they are ultimately doing what is best for the child, that they are helping the child be more self reliant and get into a better sleep pattern, with the knock on effect that parents are happier and more able to cope with their children and the children are well slept and able to participate in the days activities having had a good nights sleep under their belt. I have seen the effects that CC have had on hundreds of families- over a relatively short period of time ( absolute Max 2 weeks) their whole lives the entire families lives have been improved. The only time CC doesn’t work is when there isn’t absolute consistency and this is when it becomes unfair on the child, as they get mixed messages and the process takes too long-. I am in touch with very many of the clients I have had, and without exception they have all been thrilled with their new found freedom from the grips of a never-ending nightmare! and the children certainly haven’t all become wilting, wall flowers with their personality quashed out of them, In fact to the contrary, parent and child bonds always improve. I agree that this method isn’t for all- I have used other sleep training methods with some clients, and a little tweek of a routine and a few back pats was all it took- but there are many children who don’t respond to these methods, and so for those children and parents, I would like to say that you are doing what is right for you and your child and your family, and to realise that those who pass judgment and pull out the guilt card don’t fully understand what C.C entails as they are likely either be content with their child dominating the night-time hours or they don’t have a child with the severity of the sleep problem that you are experiencing.

containher Thu 13-Jan-11 18:04:15

OOPS ! Just realised this would better fit in the sleep topic- sorry for the repitition!

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