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Sorry its a bit long..

(2 Posts)
wheresmejumper Tue 11-Jan-11 15:39:08


Just back from collecting my DS 4 from school and am just so cross. Teacher pulled me to the side and said his behaviour today was appalling.

I admit that he was always a PFB until he was about 2.5 till I realised how bad he was. You couldnt sneeze loudly and he started crying so we just to tip toe aroun the house and just generally baby him. I realised what was going on and his behaviour at home really improved. But then he went to pre-school and he started again-this time the source of his tantrums was sharing, namely someone wouldnt share with him so he pitched a fit. We worked on that and it did gt better.

He started primary in Sept and the teacher had fierce problems with him, getting up and wandering around, talking back, crying if he was told not to do something, to the point where he goes red and looks to be making himself sick(never does this at home. We got a reward chart system set up and these days still happened but rarely so we were pleased with effort.

Today though he really lost it to the point other kids had their hands over their ears. She said he screamed solid for half an hour she couldnt be heard by the other kids, she tried to ignore it, didnt work, spoke with him to calm him, didnt work. He was eventually distracted by breaktime and calmed. he didnt do any work today just wandered from desk to desk and eventually she had to move him to a desk by himself ehich he repeatedly kicked all day. He keeps getting up to go to the loo and she cant tell him not to go. Today he went to the loo but instead of going in the bathroom door, turned quick and went out the classroom door.

She says he is bright and able to do the work but not gifted or anything like he isnt being challenged. He gets on with everyone he isnt bad. But he doesnt listen, is distracted by a fly and when you try to speak to him, it really feels like your talking at him not with him. If you ask him why he did something he just says "I dont know".

Again, sorry its so long but has anyone any idea what I can do?

crazygracieuk Tue 11-Jan-11 16:06:07

I would ask to see the Senco and work with her to come up with a behaviour plan because his behaviour is so extreme.
Personally I'm surprised that screaming for half an hour solid and his other behaviour today didn't result in a call from school before pickup time.

Is your son able to discuss his behaviour with you? Is he behaving badly to get adult attention? If so I'd try to work with the school son that he gets attention when being good. Does he recall the trigger for his behaviour? In my experience other kids can be mean/annoying and it may be that he needs to discuss how to deal with his anger.

You admit that you babied him in the past but do you baby him now? I don't mean this to be rude but would you benefit from a parenting course if his behaviour at home is also extreme?

I have a 4 year old too and can sympathise with the fact that school is tiring and that you have to sometimes do boring things. I would be telling him that I was very disappointed with his behaviour but tomorrow was a fresh start and I'd expect better.

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