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Should i be concerned or is this normal behaviour

(10 Posts)
SuzannePetal Tue 11-Jan-11 10:47:56

I am a first time mum, my daughter is 18 months, she is so hyper active, when she was new born she only napped twice a day and wouldnt cuddle or lay in her moses basket, she liked to lay on a matt and look around, she's always got frustraited when she wants to do something and cant, her speech is very advanced for her age, she is so independant, when i go to baby group, other children her age seem to sit on their mums lap and enjoy the singing, not my daughter, she never wants to cuddle, or sit still, she just refuses and before i know it i have a major tantrum on my hands, she only naps once a day since ten months now and we put her to bed at 8 but recently she hasnt wanted to sleep till 9 but still wakes up early. We think she should be tired but she is wide awake and chatting. She is so grizzly pretty much all day, i play with her and she throws things, i try to read to her and she throws books or wants to read herself, i try do crafts with her and sing nursery rhymes too, im sure im doing enough to mentally stimulate her but im loosing my mind with how strong willed and grizzly she is. This mornin she refused breakfast. My husband thinks there is something wrong with her, i try so hard to make her happy but i just cant win. Have i hit the terrible two's early or is she just really intelligent? What am i doing wrong? I get upset coz she wont cuddle me, she says 20 words plus very clearly but doesnt seem to every say mummy. She never seems to be calm, could she have adhd? We have had some trouble recently with my step daughter, she was violent and kicked the front door glass in, i had to call the police as she was abusive and aggressive, she is no longer allowed to come near me as a restraining order contract has been drawn up, i cant help feel that as much as ive tried to protect my daughter, my step daughters terrible behaviour may have affected my daughter and this may be some of the problem?.

vixy0007 Tue 11-Jan-11 12:10:45

She sounds like my DS was at that age, He was walking and talking at 10 months, although he did like cuddles he seemed to get really fustrated easily, I bought him toys for older children that he might need help with, jigsaw puzzles things like that, they got his mind working and stopped him becoming bored so quickly, also he sometimes let me help him. We did a lot of messy glittery craft things an tried to make everything into a game. He didnt sleep well either, except when he was in my bed which was easy for me to do as i am a single parent so had no snoring man hoggin he blanket, although it was really hard to get him into his own bed, have you tried cutting out the daytime nap? I know the peace is bliss but you might find you have a better evening an a less grumpy child the next day if it works?

crazygracieuk Tue 11-Jan-11 12:33:20

I have 3 children and only 1 was cuddly as a baby.
Your dd's constant energy sounds very normal. My dd didn't sleep much either. She dropped all daytime naps at 15 months and would only sleep 10 hours a day. She only slept 8 hours a day at 24 months. You'll be pleased to know that since starting school she sleeps 10 hours a night though.

If she's active, I'd do more active groups rather than groups where you have to sit down. My 3 would never have sat down for singing at that age either. They enjoyed more active classes like tumbletots and gardening and were focused on perfecting physical skills like running and climbing. They started to enjoy crafts, being read to and music when they were 3 or 4 ish. Until then they used to spend every waking moment moving, exploring, chatting...

At her age, the only mental stimulation she needs is you. What she needs and wants is your time, attention and your company so try to chill.

SuzannePetal Tue 11-Jan-11 12:39:31

I have got her older childrens toys to try help stimulate her, we have a toy shoppping trolly we play shop and a toy washing machine we put her socks in, she has musical instruments, a drum, a tambourine, shakers etc, we have an activty centre, a tea set which we have tea parties will her dolly, peter rabbit and iggle piggle, she has shape sorters, wooden puzzles, a felt board i made with laminated velcro pictures and words and so many books, plus crafts and also nursery rhyme cd's we sing to, I'm going to cut her nap out after lunch today and see how that works out, at worst im going to have a grizzly babe on my hands but its worth a try, i thought she was too young to cut that nap out just yet, but then again she has always been one step ahead for her age.

vixy0007 Tue 11-Jan-11 12:46:20

I took my DS to the park at his usual naotime, without the pushchair so he couldnt fall asleep, although we do live pretty close to the park, he was moody becaue he was tired an admittedly he didnt sleep any betteer the first night, but the second night he was out like a light at bedtime, an like crazygracieuk said now hes at nursery all day he sleeps most of the night, with the occasional 3am mommy i want a cuddle!

crazygracieuk Tue 11-Jan-11 13:35:45

Does she have any older friends? They might be better company for her as they might be more chatty and be more physically advanced so be more "fun".

crazygracieuk Tue 11-Jan-11 13:37:12

Pressed submit too soon.. my last comment is based on you mentioning a baby group because she sounds like a toddler or pre-schooler rather than a baby.

BluTac Tue 11-Jan-11 13:44:06

Don't worry about her not saying mummy yet, that's normal. I think it's because they don't need to say it; you're always there. Nothing personal smile

SuzannePetal Wed 12-Jan-11 11:14:11

I kept her awake all yesterday and she went to sleep sound at 8pm and was up at 8.30 am and seems very happy, so far this morning she has been good as gold, no grizzles at all, just hoping cutting out the nap continues to work. Thanks for advice x

vixy0007 Thu 13-Jan-11 11:19:37

aww glad things are lookin better for you

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