Toilet issues backwards step. What's best to do?

[WannabeNigella]

DS 3yrs 9months has been fully toilet trained for around 9 months now with the odd wee accident about once a fortnight/3 weeks usually when he is enjoying something so much he can't bear to leave it.

On tue and wed at nursery last week he had a wee accident both days which I put down to him beig excited to be back after Christmas hold, but then on thu he had a poo in his pants and 4 wee accidents there and fri, sat and sun involved various wee accidents at home. Yesterday was slightly better with one wee accident at home and this morning he has woken me to tell me he has poo'd in his pull ups. I am at my wits end. It took me months to train him initially and I just can't understand why after all this time we've gone so far backwards.

Initially I tried talking to him about what was causing it but got nothing back, I tried timeout and since then I have taken a toy of his and told him he can have them back when he goes a day without an accident. During all this I also keep asking him if anything is worrying him, trying to give him encouragement about what a big boy he is and how well he was doing with wee's and poo's on toilets etc.

Has anyone else had this? If so, how long did it last, what did you do etc?

Thanks

[DirtyMartini]

We are having similar issues, thouhg training is more recent here so it was less established to start with. Neverheless, regression with poos especially is a nightmare isn't it? Baffling and very hard work!

I don't know what to suggest really. But I would disagree with taking a toy away; I can see the value in a system of aiming for a reward, but not a punishment/reward like that iyswim? It seems to send a message that he is being naughty, getting his things removed. I guess I may be soft but instinctively I think it sounds like a bad idea to link poos and wees to naughtiness - brings in a whole raft of issues that don't need to be there in the first place.

Obv not much help though as I don't have other suggestions :(

[WannabeNigella]

Thanks DirtyMartini, to be honest I agree with our thinking with the toy thing, I did it out of frustration to try and get a reaction I suppose but it didn't work anyway.

[DirtyMartini]

Know what you mean. In our case, I have been guilty of saying some things in exasperation I wish I hadn't. It is tough going.

Someone will be along in a minute with a magic wand ...

[WannabeNigella]

Bumping for help!

[DirtyMartini]

Have you seen this? We read it at the start but haven't got it out in a while. It has helped lots of people -- I plan to get it out again with DS and read it together in hopes it will get us back on track.

Just in case you haven't seen it: Poo Goes Home To Poo Land

(I heard about it on MN.)