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Yes and no

(11 Posts)
Rillyrillygoodlooking Sun 02-Jan-11 21:51:48

DS is 3.2. He started talking last year at about this time. He never uses the words yes, no, more, again. When he wants something he says 'do you want ...'
If I ask aquestion that he would answer no, then he just doesn't say anything. If I ask if he wants a drink or something he says okay, not yes.
How can I encourage ds to use these kinds of words ?

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 02-Jan-11 22:27:56

I was going to do a long post all about open questions, waiting for ten seconds for him to formulate a reply, getting down to his level to talk so that he can see your face moving and shaping the words, getting his hearing checked

but tbh I would be going straight to the HV for a consultation and book a hearing test with GP/HV without delay

Does he follow a point (you say ooh look at the rainbow, pointing at it, his eyes follow the line indicated by the point), does he go to nursery/preschool/CM; have they expressed worries or concerns

Rillyrillygoodlooking Sun 02-Jan-11 22:54:23

He is moderately deaf, and the paediatrician has said he has autistic traits. We are modelling speech but he doesn't seem to be getting it.
He will start mainstream preschool next week for two mornings. He also goes to pre-school for deaf children.
The dr didn't say much about this specific issue just that it is to do with his social and communication skills, which aren't brilliant.
He ignores the mainstream preschool staff and as I am trying to potty train him at the mo, I am finding the whole thing a bit stressful.
I was hoping for a magic technique that would help ds use yes and no!

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 02-Jan-11 23:01:13

ah, I see

I hope someone with more experience will trot along with more help for you


Rillyrillygoodlooking Sun 02-Jan-11 23:07:10

I appreciate you answering

BoysAreLikeDogs Sun 02-Jan-11 23:21:15

oooh, how about posting a new thread in the SN section, linking to here?

ArthurPewty Mon 03-Jan-11 09:46:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marne Mon 03-Jan-11 10:49:28

Hi, just saw your post in SN's, my dd2 is 4 and has ASD, her speach is very delayed and at your ds's age was almost non verbal. When she wants something she says 'what do you want?' (instead of 'i want ...'). For the past year i have been corecting her by saying 'dd2 wants...' and then i ask 'yes or no?'. We started off by backing this up with pictures (pictures of things she would ask for such as drink, biscuit, lego etc..). She still says 'what do you want?' but is saying 'dd2 wants ....' a lot more now and will now answer 'yes' or 'no' when prompted (asked 'yes or no?').

So say he wants a biscuit, you say 'DS want a biscuit? yes or no?

By doing this you are only giving him the option of 'yes' or 'no' instead of a whole vocabulary (sp) of answers so you are more likely to get an answer.

You could also use 2 cards with a tick for yes and a cross for no, this will take a few goes before her realizes what they mean (use his favorite food or toy, chocolate works for us grin ).

Stick with it and don't give up, it may take weeks or months before he gets the hang of it but hje will get there in the end.

I have been trying to get dd2 to use language to answer and ask questions, and to start convosation for what seems like a life time. Last night her Grandad came over and dd2 said 'look at my new radio grandad', this is the first time she has spoken (with such a long sentance) without being spoken to.

Marne Mon 03-Jan-11 10:51:35

Also, work on one area at a time, if potty training is not going to plan then scrap it and try again in a few months (dd2 was not dry until the week before she started school).

Rillyrillygoodlooking Mon 03-Jan-11 18:19:09

Thanks for your answers, I should have said that I did start a thread in SN, where I have had some enlightening answers as well.

There are some similarities with your DD Marne and yours LeonieDelt. Whenever we talk to a health professional about it - eg SALT, Deaf Advisor, paediatrician - they never really talk about this specific issue and its something that preys on my mind.

When DS does come over to talk to me, it is mostly about numbers (we count a lot or say numbers in funny voices, which he thinks is funny), or he wants me to repeat phrases that he thinks are funny (eg a line from a book) or wants me to do something like get him a box. If he wants the box he will say "box" then "want box" then, "what you want?" box".

If I ask him a question, he rarely answers. Although, I did ask him what he had for lunch yesterday when out with DH. He took ages, and then when he had his back to me he said "chips". So that was good.

I do do similar with the yes or no thing, but he repeats "yes or no" most of the time.

There are a number of areas we have to work on a the mo, his pretend play being one, so I think we will knock potty training on the head as DS just gets upset although he has weed on the potty a few times.

Thanks so much for your responses, they have been reassuring. And thanks for reading my ramblings. I never get satisfactory answers about this so it has been good to write about it here.

5inthebed Mon 03-Jan-11 18:47:19

DS2 (5) has autism, and only started talking when he was 3 1/2. getting him to ask for what he wanted and to reply yes or no was hard work. We pretty much had to reduce our words to him. Take out all unnecessary words.

We starteed to ask him "DS2 (his name) want biscuit yes" instead of " Would you like a biscuit". Or "DS2 want drink yes" rather than would you like a drink of juice".

We were told by his ASD trained SALT to refer to him with his name rather than you, sort of as if you were referring to yourself on a third person basis.

WRT saying no, we would give him a choice of two foods, one we know he liked and something he totally hated, and when given the option of which one we said "DS2 which one" holding both up, then say "yes" raising the one he liked and "no" raising the one he wouldn't want. Took a while, but he finally understood it.

Hope what I've put makes sense.

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