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Is it normal for a nearly 4yo boy to have aggressive phases?

(10 Posts)
MegBusset Sun 02-Jan-11 19:46:15

DS1 (3.8) has really been lashing out over Xmas, verbally and physically, from hitting DS2 to talking back and threatening to kick a lamp over if I didn't put the TV on shock

He's normally a pretty gentle soul so just wondering (hoping!) that it's a testosterone surge or something, or maybe it's just the holidays? Anyone got brilliant ideas for dealing with it, we don't do the naughty step as I'm more the 'sit down and explain why it's wrong' persuasion but ten minutes later he's at it again...

teddies Sun 02-Jan-11 19:46:47

hope so cos I've got one too.

ZombiePlanB Sun 02-Jan-11 19:52:43

yes, mine's been having 'aggressive phases' since he was 2.

Depressingly I worked out that it was mainly all my anger he was picking up on. Is there something stressful going on at home that could be exacerbating it?

Calm and consistent works for us. Plus also helping ds calm down by teaching him to take deep breaths, count to ten etc. Mind you, I had to learn to do it first blush

The3Bears Sun 02-Jan-11 19:57:04

My ds 3.11 has been like this the past 2 months I was worried he'd been behaving like this at nursery but was told hes well behaved and quiet, I just think its a phase as he thinks he a big boy now and can boss us about hopefully soon it will pass.

Choufleur Sun 02-Jan-11 19:58:02


MegBusset Sun 02-Jan-11 20:01:26

We did move house a month ago, he loves the new place (more space etc) but it does mean that he hasn't been at playschool since the start of December and I really think he's missing the structure and routine. He starts his new one on Weds so hopefully that will help!

1percentawake Sun 02-Jan-11 20:34:36

Testosterone peaks at age 4 and then drops right down until the teenage years. Very normal behaviour!

changeforthebetter Sun 02-Jan-11 20:39:21

<<mum of girls tentatively clears throat>> both of mine have had the vile stompy aggressive stage too confused. I put it down to the end of toddlerhood colliding with first real independence (preschool less cuddly than CMs and nursery)

Tgger Mon 03-Jan-11 19:13:23

Very normal, but decide where your boundaries are.

We have zero tolerance here for hitting/knocking sibling over etc. That is after one warning. He gets sent to his room for 4 mins.

Bet house move is part of it. Very normal to react a bit. Might take him a while to settle, also normal, so go with the flow smile.

MegBusset Mon 03-Jan-11 19:32:07

Thank you all, today he told me that because I was so rude for telling him off (over snatching from DS2) that he wanted to go and live with the next-door neighbours! I did offer to pack a little bag for him but he wasn't so keen after all grin

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