Struggling to cope with six month old - help(21 Posts)
DD is six months and I'm finding it really difficult. I think the 'honeymoon period' has finished (not that the beginning was any better, somehow I just managed to keep going) and I'm struggling to keep my spirits up.
She's really demanding, has been alert from day one, and after 2 - 5 minutes of any activity she's yelling and complaining, wanting a change of scene. She's happy being pushed in the pram but now the weather's getting so bad I can't always fall back on that.
I've got myself into a rut of being really envious of people who have easy babies, the ones who gaze around doe eyed and can just be 'put down' for naps.
She's my first baby, and I haven't been around babies much, so maybe my expectations are totally unrealistic. I just feel she's so dissatisfied and bad tempered.
Not sure what I'm hoping for in responses to this thread, perhaps reassurance that she's not going to grow up into a bad tempered, complaining child.
Ooh, I've got one of those (sort of). All boggle eyes from the start and needing LOTS of stimulation...? My dd is 6.5 months and although really a VERY happy child has a real problem with naps and she needs a lot of sleep so we have had the same symptoms, just plain old misery and hatred. My god, the miles and miles I pushed that bloody pram... Thankfully she is getting better at daytime sleep so things aren't so bad BUT... Like you I also sometimes feel just plain old jealous of people who's babies just drop off to sleep. She won't sleep in her pram anymore (too much to look at) so once she gets tired she just shouts. Will only sleep in her cot which is great unless I want to do anything like leave the house
But now that she has started sleeping well, this has changed dramatically. She is much less hard work and more able to entertain herself for periods of time UNLESS she is teething then it is hell. Shouting, whining, won't sleep, no attention span, etc. Some days I feel like she'd quite happily be throwing rocks at me... Soooo...Is it possible that your daughter is teething? It does make them evil and she is the right age...
I can sympathise. DD (now nearly 11 months) seems to have short periods of being quite happy, but it seems that a lot of the time she is quite whiney and also gets bored with things very quickly. Teething also doesn't help. She is still not moving around, so I'm hoping that things will improve once she is mobile. I sometimes feel that other people's babies seem happier and contented than DD. I do love her, and when she is happy it's great - I just wish she was happy a bit more often!
My DD is 9 months and was like you describe your baby to be, since she was about 3 months old, nothing seemed to please her, she wouldnt nap, wouldnt sleep at night, didnt play with toys, cried nearly everywhere she went... however, I found that once she was able to sit up herself and roll around the floor she got a LOT better, I think a lot of it was to do with frustration, wanting to do things and not being able to. Now that she can crawl things have got better again and she is happy to play about on her own for a while or watch TV.
Thanks for the advice, it's hard going, isn't it? I'm worried that what's exhausting and frustrating in a baby will be just downright unpleasant in a child. That's an awful thing to say, I know, but I'm feeling so ground down by the constant whining, thrashing around and yelling.
No sign of teething yet in terms of what's in her mouth, but her nights have been pretty disturbed for weeks now. She also has a roughish red rash along her jaw line, if that's indicative of anything. It looks like the small patches of eczema that she sometimes gets on her body.
She can roll from side to side, but has only made it onto her front a few times. She hates being on her tummy so I suppose there's no incentive for her to learn! She can sit up un-propped on a soft surface like a bed, but not on the floor. Fingers crossed more mobility will improve her mood.
oh no, im sure her being a difficult baby is not going to make her into an unpleasant child! i've noticed sometimes the ones who are difficult as a baby are easier as a toddler, and vice versa. she may well improve loads once she is mobile, and once she is able to do a bit more for herself. some people say that there are babies who just don't really like being babies, once they grow up a little bit they are so much happier - it just depends on the child but i really don't think you have to worry that she will be difficult for her whole life, im sure its not the case
Difficult baby doesn't mean difficult child - my DS was hideous baby: silent reflux + me in total hormonal meltdown = not a happy start (or first year to be honest!).
He is now 2 and a very sweet boy - still a royal pain in the butt for me obviously - but everyone else thinks he's lovely.
So don't worry at all about the future - I'd advise using any distraction you can to try to take her mind off whatever's getting her het up - it is almost always teeth/tiredness/hunger at that age. I did find with mine that from six months bagels were AMAZING - he'd suck on half a one for 45 minutes at a time - the first time he'd ever done anything for that long without crying - he then lived off them for about a year... (yes they have some salt in but without teeth he didn't actually consume much of it, I think the sodden dough texture was nice in his mouth....)
PS I PROMISE you it gets better - though I wanted to punch every person who said that to me at the time.
Can you get her one of those padded ring cushions so she can sit up and do more. we found with DS that we'd always have a nightmare few weeks when he really wanted to be doing the next thing and couldn't quite, so sitting, crawling, walking etc - just before he got it he was a total pain and needed huge amounts more attention. Now he can toddle about he can amuse himself much more easily. Also what toys do you have for her? Are they appropriate for her age and stage of development? I borrowed lots from a Sure Start toy library that were great - anything he couls spin or roll around was good at that age
I'd just say those with easy babies - once they turn one it's often a different story. Conversely those with more challenging babies, once they turn one it's easier. Chin up.
Oh, and mine were partic. awful at 6 months - frustrated. Once they started crawling - which was around then, they were much happier.
Get her a door bouncer. Guaranteed 30 minutes of peace for you and tremendous fun for baby twice a day, ime.
very difficult stage to entertain but sometimes being able to just chat to your health visitor bout the little things helps
6 months is a difficult age because they're so much more alert and active and yet can't actually do very much by themselves. Also more difficult to get them to nap / settle.
I found this time more difficult than the first few month.
As others have said it does get easier when they can move around a bit more.
DD didn't like being on her tummy either but she learnt to 'bum-shuffle' at about 8/9 months so could get about and then walked at 12 months.
Do you have a door bouncer? DD loved these, I would get maybe 20 mins peace to cook or whatever. I also had an activity centre you could sit her in and it would bounce up and down / play hideous music / flash lights and had little rattles and mirrors to play with. That was good.
Thanks so much everyone, particularly for not saying "that's just how babies are".
Hodgepodge, she had silent reflux too, so basically has complained since she was born. Thanks for the bagel tip, we're just starting BLW so that would be something new to try!
Trixie, good point about the toys, I think they're age appropriate, she has a baby gym that she tolerates for a shortish amount of time, we also have books that she likes to hold in her hands and gnaw at, and some hand held things like the Lamaze firefly toy which she really likes.
Bibbity and Missfit, we don't have a door bouncer as downstairs we don't have any doors! Open plan nightmare house! I've been looking for an activity centre on ebay as they're so expensive new.
I know it's important that they crawl, so I'm trying to persevere with that, but it's yet another thing that makes her cry!
Thanks again for your supportive comments, I need to get out of the rut of feeling sorry for myself and frustrated with her.
Just to say I had a similar baby, he was an utter misery to be honest. He turned into to loveliest toddler you could ever hope to meet. Now he's 3.5 that's a different story but really, the awful baby days were worth it to escape the terrible twos!
Try Freecycle for a 2nd hand activiy centre. My 7 month DS (who is a very good baby - sorry) doesn't like being on his tummy either and refuses to roll over. Apparently they are meant to spend at least an hour a day on their tummies! Anyway, I have started leaving him on his tummy more and more and he is getting less whingy about it and starting to move about/almost roll. I think sometimes you just have to let them cry
Oh yeah... When my dd began to get a bit more mobile - she can't crawl yet but has worked out how to get around a bit by rolling and wriggling - she was much happier and it keeps her a little bit occupied. It is getting much, much better so I'm sure it will with you too. It feels like I've endured years of hell rather than the few months but tbh it is getting so much easier and the memory IS starting to fade a bit.
And do have a chat with your health visitor as someone suggested earlier. We had a great one here who was so, so helpful with dd's challenging behaviour shall we say. S/he can give you a much more objective view.
But just persevere and all the time/effort will pay off greatly.
This sounds exactly like my DD. I just posted a thread on here about her constant screaming and whining because, I imagine, she is getting frustrated that she can't move. Has been very hard since day. She is not a content baby and I also feel slightly envious of those with happy, smiley little people.
At the moment, I have a 6-mo-old very much like the one you describe being envious of- smiley, placid, doe-eyed and generally a v easy baby.
BUT ds1 was horrendous as a baby. Never happy, always wizzling, crap sleeper... I found his first year very very hard work. He is now 4:9 and lovely, cheerful , resilient, kind.
My point being:
(a) grizzly babies don't necessarily turn into miserable or overly demanding children.
(b) it's not to do with your parenting. I was sure I'd have another difficult one this time round- maybe we're in for hell with ds2 during the toddler stage.
As others have said, I just think ds1 didn't enjoy being a baby. He's more than made up for it since though, and I'm sure your dd will too once she can do a bit more.
My ds was just like that. He was totally high needs, needed loads of movement and input, very over sensitive. Never happy til he could talk. I was miserable and he was just the most hard to please baby I have ever met. I really thought he'd be miserable forever.
He's 3 now and is just wonderful. He is chatty and out going and just a little bit of a control freak (ie likes to be the boss of everything!) but I think most 3 yr olds are similar. He is lovely, even tempered, not a tantrummer, never violent, not hitting out, kicking like some of the children I see of his age. He is still very aware and wants to be part of everything, basically just a mini adult who didn't like being a baby.
Thanks. woofie, I have questioned whether I've done something to make her this way, it's nice to hear someone who's had two very different babies who can bolster the 'nature versus nuture' argument!
meandjoe, your little boy sounds lovely! Fingers crossed DD ends up the same.
christmas cake, may the force be with you!
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