Do you always carry out your threats?/fair?(4 Posts)
I have always believed in clear boundaries, and the kids know what to expect. If they are pushing it, I will issue a warning and a threat (eg if you dont do x now, there will be no computer this evening).
I am guessing that about 80% of the time I will carry out said threat if warning fails. The remaining 20% I dont, either because I feel I was a bit too strict at the time, or because the kids had been wonderful since, or because... lots of reasons..
Also, my 8 year old son, who is bright and very close to me, is starting to try and negociate punishments issued- he is good at putting forward arguments (a skill I happen to think is invaluable in life, that is "negociating"..I obviously not mean "negociating punishments" pre se, and he is damned good at it) so on that basis he does get let off the hook more than his siblings who can't put forward their case bless ( he is the middle one, he is 8 going on 30)
So am wondering: are there any mums that always, without fail, like 100% carry out consequences?
And if you have siblings, do you find that when you think about it you are not consistently fair amongst them?
I try not to issue threats unless I'm prepared to carry them out. Once or twice I've threatened "big" punishments, like once we arrived at the beach & the DDs started fighting for the millionth time that day. I said stop, or we'll go straight home. They laughed at me & carried on 2 seconds later, so we got in the car & went straight home. It was a PITA because I then had to occupy them all day, but they do know I mean it when I say something.
I sometimes tell them no DVD/story etc. and then change my mind if they start to behave better.
IME not carrying out consequences means that the DC stop listening to you. It's like saying no no no no oh alright then
I generally carry out my threats - witness DD2 getting no story tonight! However, they can earn back a removed priviledge - DD1, for example, has earned back TV priviledges by clearing up after tea. This only applies if behaviour has been good since the incident, and if the chore is carried out with good grace rather than a sulky face!
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