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Toddler behaviour due to new baby

(5 Posts)
chops1 Thu 09-Dec-10 10:55:00

Since having my 2nd son who is now 9 wks old, my 2 yr old has started behaving badly with other children (i.e. hitting them, biting, shouting etc) when he was normally a very happy socialble child. 6 weeks after having my 2nd son the bedtime routine went out the window, I was still doing the routine same time everynight (bath, bed etc)but he would not settle down until about 10pm. I appreciate that it is an attention thing as a lot of my time is taken up with the new baby but it is really starting to worry me. Is this behaviour normal and is there anyone who has gone through this as I would really appreciate any hints\tips\advice etc

Kind regards,

Claire

Simic Thu 09-Dec-10 11:42:56

Sounds fairly normal to me - I think pretty much everything is normal when it comes to a reaction to a new baby...
I found the book "Siblings without rivalry" (Faber and Mazlish) good on this subject.
But apart from that, normal kind of stuff - try and have some time together just the two of you; try to involve the older one "helping" with the younger one; make him feel important as the big brother who is looking after the little baby; when he feels things are not fair or feels pushed out, listen to him and let him know that you are really listening and hearing him...

Simic Thu 09-Dec-10 11:45:50

Oh and another one I'd forgotten:
tell him loud and clear when it's his turn so he does notice it:
"Now ds2, it's time for you to go in your cot because now it's ds1's turn to have lots of attention from me" even when baby has already fallen asleep and isn't listening to a word - other ears are usually flapping!

rubyblue Fri 10-Dec-10 17:31:42

Spending time alone with the eldest works for us as he felt very left out as I am bf dd. We try and have a couple of hours out of the house together every weekend (have both of them rest of time).

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sat 11-Dec-10 20:05:40

Its a tough time hang in there!

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