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Behaviour/development

'She never falls out with anyone'!

9 replies

Bingtata · 07/12/2010 17:38

DD is 4 and half and today I had a copy of a report her nursery sends to her school which she starts after Christmas. Overall the report was fine, but something niggled at me. It said that DD 'gets on well with everyone and has lots of friends (all good so far) and she never falls out with anyone.'

I have noticed that, whilst being very far from a quiet and shy child, she will go out of her way to keep the peace with her friends - i.e if they get upset or cry about wanting to play something particular she will just play what they want or hand the toy over. If I ask her why she will say something about not wanting them to be upset and that she doesn't mind finding something else to play with.

I talked to her keyworker about and they agreed that she is not shy, she seems to avoid confrontation or any attempts to 'get her own way' so to speak. They are always going on about how polite and good she is but I don't want her to be a doormat or to feel that she has to always be good! How do I help her to find a balance or is this something I shouldn't be worried about?

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SkyBluePearl · 07/12/2010 21:19

can you teach her how to say no calmly but firmly at specific times?

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Roo83 · 07/12/2010 22:21

Sounds to me like she's a lovely girl,I'd be so proud of her putting others feelings before her own. I understand you don't want her to be used or become a doormat,but hopefully this will come with age. At least to begin with she should have no problems making friends

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Bingtata · 08/12/2010 07:39

We have always taught her to say 'No' and 'Stop' when another child pushes or hits her and she also gos to taekwondo where they teach her the same thing. I know that she does do this because I have seen her in situations, I'm not worried about her being bullied as such, just taken advantage of.

It is a good point about her making friends. I guess I don't want the expectation hanging over her head that she is a 'good girl' or that she has to keep everyone happy to be liked if that makes sense.

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Abr1de · 08/12/2010 07:42

I think you may be over-thinking this. She hasn't even started school yet.

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headinhands · 08/12/2010 08:05

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. It was mentioned in the report as a positive aspect so take it as such. If the staff saw anything potentially negative they would be approaching you about the issue. What a lovely little girl.

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overmydeadbody · 08/12/2010 08:07

You're over-worrying. She hasn't even started school yet.

Don't worry about possible problems in the future, just deal with them if they come up.

Chances are your DD won't be a oushover.

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Bingtata · 08/12/2010 20:04

Overthinking would be a distinct possibility with me

Thanks for all the replies, good advice!