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advice needed on DD age 8!

(7 Posts)
Vi8 Mon 06-Dec-10 13:54:08

Hi, never posted before but I feel i need urgent advice. DD was a remarkable baby and toddler. Knew and recited alphabet by 18m, also knew numbers and counted to 20 or 30. Age 3 she had taught herself to play her favourite film tunes on the piano. She's always been v open and sociable, and also very intense. She's now studying 2 musical instruments and is clearly extremely talented. At school, however, she's not achieving as she should. Her teacher has complained about her behaviour: talking incessantly to her friends and not paying attention, mainly. She's level 2 in maths and in one of the top groups for literacy, but that's it. Her teacher has managed to notice her great imagination, creativity, and independent learning, but she's usually described as 'hyper', and that is her label now. At home she's highly creative, always playing music, singing, inventing and making things. She's hugely affectionate and passionate, and very temperamental. I worry that her desire to fit in with the other girls is letting her down (she doesn't really mix with the studious, quiet girls, as they are 'boring'). I'm not pushy, I'm only worried, and wonder if there's any advice?

Vi8 Mon 06-Dec-10 13:56:12

Forgot to add DD is bilingual, 2 languages spoken at home.

Bramshott Mon 06-Dec-10 13:58:41

Your DD sounds lovely! TBH I wouldn't stress about it - most 8 year olds like to chat to their friends in school, particularly if they have an outgoing personality. My DD1 is fairly similar (outgoing, chatty, creative), only without the "remarkable baby and toddler" part. She is in Yr 3 and is achieving as expected, although I know she is prone to chatting in class.

Vi8 Mon 06-Dec-10 14:05:46

Thanks Bramshot, she is lovely. I know girls are chatterboxes, but every September her teacher pulls me aside within weeks to tell me about her behaviour.

Bramshott Mon 06-Dec-10 14:08:44

Well then I'm afraid I would throw the ball back in their court and say "so what strategies are you employing in class to try and get her to talk less / concentrate more?". I mean aside from reinforcing at home that it's important to listen in class and work hard at school, it's very difficult for you as a parent to change her behaviour in school isn't it? I know that for example, my DD and one particular friend are not allowed to sit together in class as they chat too much!

cory Mon 06-Dec-10 22:47:50

Agree with Bramshott. I have a very talkative 10yo, who not so long ago was a very talkative 8yo wink and tbh I expected the school to deal with it by coming down on him like a ton of bricks if he was disrupting lessons- it's hardly something I can do longdistance!

They needed to first explain to him why his behaviour was unacceptable and then discipline him if he failed to behave. In fact, I believe they did just that. It hasn't cured him overnight, but if they keep persevering, and I keep backing them up, we might just get there.

Vi8 Tue 07-Dec-10 11:52:26

Thanks, it is stressful for that very reason: it's impossible to tackle it by remote control! DD is very excitable, and when a teacher has to deal with 30 kids, 2 of them Special Needs, I'm sure it must very very hard. I'm just worried that they'll label her as 'hyper', and this will start to have an effect. I suppose I'll have to keep talking to the teacher and making sure he keeps her interested and under control, while making the most of her many qualities.

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