I can't put my newborn baby down!

[redandyellowandpinkandgreen]

Help!

He's nearly three weeks and I literally can't put him down for one second. I have tried waiting until he's in a deep sleep but nothing works. We have had to have him in bed with us because he won't settle anywhere away from me.

Any advice? I can't even get to the loo!

He is demand breast fed. He has been awake all day apart from napping on me or his dad! In the day I try to put him to sleep in a moses basket next to me but he won't settle at all. We are being driven mad. I am vaguely worried he might be ill but he is feeding fine and doing everything he's meant to, does it just sound normal?

[Goingspare]

Oh gosh, I've just posted elsewhere about my nocuturnal DD2 and how I slept with her for the first 6 months as she wouldn't settle... She was like this too. Pretty much permanently attached to me. Sling in the day, my bed at night (DH slept in the spare room as he was afraid of rolling on her).

I don't know if that's the way you want to resolve it, but I think it's perfectly normal (the baby in question is 10 now, and is perfectly healthy and sleeps in her own bed .

Congratulations!

[Goingspare]

nocturnal, that is.

And going to the loo - well, you just have to do that. Put him down while you go.

[Goingspare]

Oh, and one more thing (sorry), if there's one thing about her these days that might relate back to her newborn self - she's highly independent and very much her own woman, but is still extremely cuddly and physically affectionate.

[hermioneweasley]

DD (now 6 months) was like that. had to take it in turns to sit up holding her in the night. we had a couple of sessions of cranial-sacral osteopathy which sdeemed to help. she was actually worse after the first session (which we hadn't thought possible), but the second co-incided with an improvement, so worth a try. osteopath said she had an inflammed nerve at the base of her skull which made it uncomfortable to lie flat.

though she still prefers to be held and protests if left alone in a room.....

[bartuki]

My DS is 5 now and was exactly the same. Eventually I used a sling in the day (nice material one that held DS really close but meant he had good wrigglability). He was sleeping mostly through the night by the age of 2...! Don't know if that's reassuring or not. He is a very confident, sociable and very affectionate little boy. He is a happy sleeper and sleeps well for about 11 hours per night now but is very partial to sleeping in bed with me, DH and little sister (now 3). DD was carried in a sling from about day 5 - she as always well settled, fed well but did wake up through the night and has only just (a couple of months ago) started to sleep through. She is a dream child in all other respects.

I would be one of the ones saying 'enjoy it' not put that baby down otherwise they will be 'spoilt.'

Congratulations!

[bartuki]

...p.s.....I could go to the loo really easily with DCs held in a sling...no stress for them whatsoever...

[fannybaws]

Hi OP this sounds very normal, babies like all small animals, are programmed to stay very near the food and heat source, thier survival depends on it.
It can be a real shock for you though, would second the sling during the day, a rocking swing can also help the side to side ones always suited mine best.
Swaddling can help as can a hammock bed where they still feel held.
Also remember you can send DP or a trusted relative out with them in a sling for a walk while you get an uninterrupted break, this can really stop you feeling too hemmed in.
HTH

[Latootle]

If its really driving you mad then you must like training a puppy put him down fed warm cosy and just leave him. If he starts to cry just gently stroke head and make soothing noises. It will work one just has to persevere. If it was something that was totally unacceptable in public you would have to persevere. Good luck!

[AliGrylls]

I have a newborn a bit like this. He is 2 weeks old. I have another one 17 months old as well.

I believe in demand cuddling for the first 6 months - there is some research DH and I found ages ago that said babies who are cuddled and held a lot in the first 6 months are happier and need to be held less in the following 6 months.

I do put him down when he is asleep and not crying and I will let him "chat" but if he starts crying I try not to leave him for more than a couple of minutes.

[MarianD]

My daughter, (now 8 years old) was just like this and I found it sooo hard. Spent many nights asleep in rocking chair with her on me..also BF. Never slept for more than 1/2 hour alone. She was 3 weeks early and only 5lb 14oz so needed constant feeding. Now have a wonderfully affectionate girl who still sleeps 11 hours most nights. Would really recommend Cranial sacral therepy- slept for 3 hours after 1st session!! Use anyone you can to hold him while you go to the loo/shower/eat- was tempted to invite the postman in sometimes!! It took me 2 years to even be able to pick up someone else's baby, never mind have another one.
Controversially I know, Gina Ford really helped me: I held/rocked/pushed the pram to sleep for the times she recommends and then fed about the times given. NEVER left her to cry (she doesn't recommend it anyway) and never got too neurotic about the timings BUT within a short period she became the 'perfect' Gina baby and I was the envy of my baby group, having had the baby from hell to start with. Some babies just need more cuddling. My sister (whose 1st was the same) and I decided that it means we have far more intelligent children, as they got so much more attention than those boring babies that slepp in their baskets all day

[MarianD]

Also, have you tried a baby sheepskin in the moses basket? Make sure you get one treated for babies. My daughter still has it in the bed and says it makes it much more cosy- meant she would sleep anywhere. Also recommend swaddling- get a specially shaped blanket if you are not sure how to do it. Grobag do a lovely one.

[plasticspoon]

Hello, I have a thread on just this going on at the moment too! (On velcro babies). It's hard isn't it...my ds has slept in his moses basket once - he knows what he wants and that's mum!

Hope it helps a little to know you're not alone x

[glovesoflove]

Get a moby wrap or similar so you can eat and wee, and hang in there. Sometimes you will HAVE to put him down for a couple of minutes to do things and he'll be fine in his moses basket or carrycot.
Make sure your bed is safe for cosleeping (your HV or MW might have advice on this, mine were v pro cosleeping) and just go with it, don't make things harder than they need to be! If you are paranoid about safety like I was wear a jumper to bed and put your lower portions in a sleeping bag, then you won't have to worry about the quilt getting on him. Ikea sell small square cushions for about 99p so you can rest your head whilst keeping any pillowy things well away from baby.

Unless your baby is teeny tiny would he go in a bouncy chair? We have a babybjorn one and it was a lifesaver for me in the newborn days, you can bounce with your foot while you eat your dinner!

I remember this phase and I felt like punching people who said it would pass, but it did - your baby will start smiling soon and EVERYTHING is easier then! If you can accept that you won't get anything done for a few weeks life will be easier. If finances permit could you get a cleaner? First thing I'd do if I won the lotto!