2yo DD hitting but not really responding to being told off - help!

[titferbrains]

SHe is hitting when she doesn't get her own way, just for fun, also pinching and then telling me that she's pinching me (nice!) and laughing when I tell her it's naughty. I am generally very strict but she is doing it so often that I know I'm not being consistent with dealing with things atm, also have been on holiday and so things were a bit lax there, less routine etc.

SHe is generally very obedient and usually listens to me, knows to stop whatever pretty quick if I say I'm going to get cross etc.

Also I find when she hits it makes me want to smack her which I don't do - but how to cope? I tap her on the nose which I've done for ages now to indicate that something really bad/naughty but that doesn't seem to be working anymore.

Re: putting her in the corner, taking her out of the room, what do you say to a 2yo who has already said sorry but has been very naughty, apart from don't do it again? Just say play nicely or else yr going to have to leave the room again? Doesn't really seem emphatic enough...

[Greeninkmama]

I think this is completely normal - both my kids have done it. It's enough to say 'no hitting' firmly and, if necessary, to restrain gently. A 2-year-old isn't able to articulate properly - and getting physical is just a way of expressing their emotions. They can't really be that naughty because they don't understand right and wrong - it's your job to teach them through consistency and firmness (definitely easier said than done). You basically can't control a 2-year-old - a really hard lesson of parenting. Good luck!

[BertieBotts]

Show her how to be gentle - take her hand and stroke your hair with it or similar. Or give her something else to hit e.g. a drum. "You do NOT hit mummy, you can hit this drum."

I don't think it's necessary (or practical) to impose a punishment every single time she hits but stopping the activity or moving away from her should be easy enough to do and show her that people don't generally want to play with you if you hit them.

[BertieBotts]

Pinching is possibly done for a reaction. So try not to react too much (good or bad) but instead maybe redirect? You could let her pinch a teddy and make the teddy make a really hammed up squealing "OUCH!" with crying, then you hug the teddy and say poor teddy! - This gives her a chance to play out what she wants to do but it doesn't hurt anybody.

[titferbrains]

she knows about being gentle, often after hitting and being told off she will stroke my cheek with a big smile and say nice stroking. I'd just like her to stop hitting!

yes maybe will try with dolls - she only hits me or family/CM - so it is partly for a reaction.

Am really trying to gauge how stern to be with her each time, given how often she is hitting - several times a day.

[autodidact]

Stop tapping her nose. That sounds horrid. Say "no hitting" calmly but firmly and put her in time out in her room for 2 minutes.

[loola2shu]

What Auto said...

[titferbrains]

Hitting is a bit too often for time out I think! Is it effective for 2yr olds?

Am going to try ignoring - she does it more when tired so am also trying to be strict on early to bed this week and good naps.

Tapping nose - just makes her stop whatever it is and she definitely doesn't like it. But hearing you all go "whaaat?" makes me think that maybe it's a bit inappropriate for a walking talking child thanks for the nudge.