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DD 6 won't show emotion at her friend moving

(8 Posts)
ShanahansRevenge Sat 04-Dec-10 16:32:16

DD 6 has been best friends with the same little girl since reception...now they are in year 2 and DD has also made other little friends who are new to the school.

Her best friend went on Friday to sit an exam for entrance to another school and DD 6 seems to have mixed emotions about her friend leaving.

She one minute says "Can I go to X school when I am bigger?" and when I try to talk about how she feels about her friend going, she shouts at me "I'm not SAD!" and wont talk about it.

I have not pushed it at all..just given the opportunity for her to talk...I feel a bit worried that her refusal to talk is indicative of some really strong feelings...she is the same btw about her Daddy woorking away...doesn't like discussing her feelings on the matter.

Is this just her personality? Or have I omehow stunted her ability to express emotion?
Feel worried...she HAS ther friends but school is very small and her friend will leave a gap....

ShanahansRevenge Sat 04-Dec-10 16:33:26

I don't want to move DD to the other school...it is VERY expensive in cmparison to our school and as a reputation of being not suited to none academic types...they are apparently very regimented there.

pagwatch Sat 04-Dec-10 16:38:32

She is too young, stop over thinking it

Children are capable of strong emotions but they cannot project ahead. She cannot anticipate and calibrate her upset in x months time when this friend will go.

Stop asking her about it, stop anticipating her upset.
She will probably be fine . Which is perfectly appropriate and normal.

You are looking at her situation as if she is an adduct and judging her by that. She is too young. Leave her be and deal with her emotions - whatever theyvare - if and when she expresses them

The more you press her about it the more you may be confusing her

ChippingIn Sat 04-Dec-10 16:40:40

What Pag said.

Children deal with things so differently to adults, it's a shame we can't stay that way to be honest.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sat 04-Dec-10 16:42:41

When I was 9, my best friend since playgroup moved to the Isle of Man. I don't remember being upset at all - I knew she was moving, and that I wouldn't be able to play with her any more, but I think a lot of kids just take these things in their stride. If a close friend of mine moved that far away now, I think I'd be much sadder.

Georgimama Sat 04-Dec-10 16:46:36

She probably isn't that bothered. I never was when we moved and I had to leave friends behind.

Will this mean they no longer socialise at all?

secretskillrelationships Sat 04-Dec-10 17:02:40

My DD was devastated when her best friend went back home to Holland when she was 4 and found it difficult when we moved her to a different school when she was 6 away from her new best friend.

I think DCs can feel things very very strongly but can often find it difficult to articulate. I wouldn't try to talk to her too much about it but be aware when she wants to talk to you. It sounds like she feels scared about it (which is often covered by anger). I've found that my DSs can often draw how they feel more easily than talk and this sometimes helps to bring things out in the open.

Will you be able to meet up with the friend? Might be better to focus on what will happen for example, 'I know you'll miss so-and-so when she leaves so I'm going to arrange for her to come and play in the holidays.' or ask her if she'd like you to do this.

You can't make everything all right for her but you can help her with the transition.

ShanahansRevenge Sat 04-Dec-10 17:14:26

Thanks all...I am inclined to believe those who say I am over-thinking it...I am terrible for anticipating problems! She is fine...her mate left after reception and she was fine...I am sure there will be no bother. We probaby will tay in touch too...they dont live too fr away.

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