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4.5 year old in reception - quite tearful and emotional

(9 Posts)
herbgarden Sun 28-Nov-10 15:17:30

DS is 4.5. He started reception at school in September.

In a nutshell, he's a bit hypersensitive - doesn't like change very much, doesn't take being teased very easily about anything and gets quite upset about things I don't think other children too. He still follows me round the house, likes to know where I am and frequently asks for cuddles (lucky me !)

On the other hand, he is sociable,loves company,seems to be making friends well at school and likes going to school although can be wobbly at drop off.

This week though he's been quite wobbly just after getting up and can get really tearful and wanting cuddles. I can't seem to get out of him whether there is something bothering him. There is though a little boy in his class who I would say is slightly on the odd side rather than malicious or nasty but he seems to be "annoying" my DS -(DS is easily annoyed though) - Anyway, he was quite good friends with this boy at the beginning of term (and I quite like his mum) and then this other boy started to irritate him at lunch and apparently comes up and pushes him in the playground - there are lots of other boys he plays really nicely with - but this behaviour seems to be getting to him - I've seen this boy doing it after school too and I just think in a way this boy is probably trying to get DS's attention to play with him but DS is not wanting to as he's obviously annoying him now. I think this might be one cause of it. He also seems to get quite shy if he has to do "show and tell" or do anything in front of anyone.

I didn't really know what to do/say at the moment - with regard to the other boy I told him walk away if this boys annoying him and tell him that he doesn't like it when he hits him and if he can't get the message and is actually being physical to go and tell the teacher. They're only 4 after all so...

Otherwise, he just doesn't seem himself....I suspet maybe tiredness too and perhaps a bit of nerves about the upcoming nativity too ?

ShanahansRevenge Sun 28-Nov-10 17:52:42

What time does DS go to sleep? Is he getting enough? Th only reason I ask is that being wobbly as soon as he gets up seems quite this age they are so much in the preset that they don't really click to what will be happening in an hour or so....

herbgarden Sun 28-Nov-10 21:30:16

Funny you mention that but I just said to DH earlier that we were lucky that he is always in bed no later than 7 (sometimes earlier if I'm sneaky grin) and is asleep within 10 minutes and has a good 11 - 12 hours. He sometimes gets to 7 if he's really knackered. He is thought often at his most sensitive when he wakes. Maybe not a morning person? DH and I had a much needed night away last night and both kids (we have a DD who is 2 ) went to in-laws. We picked them up tonight and they were (both) full of beans and DS apparently had a great time. Must be us (!) but sometimes I find when things are getting a bit much for him a bit of a "mini" break at Grandma's perks him up a bit.He gets lots of undivided attention from both GP's and no-one is trying to do a million things whilst also giving him attention so he loves it. We'll see how we go....

SharonGless Sun 28-Nov-10 21:44:53

Are your DS and mine separated at birth?

My DS started off in reception in September and did really well with only a couple of minor wobbles. However after half term I have had a real problem with him being over sensitive. Every little thing is turned into a drama. The teacher spoke to me and said he is getting really agitated in class ie crying.

Teacher and I have got a few strategies but she has told me it is normal for younger ones to have a bad half term this half term once they realise they are at school permanently and also getting tired. My DD is also 2 and my DS absolutely hates it on my days off when he realises he has to go to school. I am trying to ensure that I spend some one to one time with him

herbgarden Mon 29-Nov-10 12:42:33

Ah Sharon - whilst I'm sorry it's also nice to know someone is sharing my pain. It's also a comfort to know that this is common. I admit that I can see a lot of the kids getting a bit short tempered particularly when they get out of school at the moment. I don't think the cold helps either. DS usually wants to go off and play with some of his friends after school in the playground for a while before we go home and goes balistic if I say "no" particularly on the really cold days when DD and I are left standing in the playground and she gets really stroppy. Otherwise I don't mind but he expects me always to say yes and doesn't like to be told no.

On my days off work I try to play down what DD and I are doing together as he'll say "oh I want to do "x" and "y"" too - I usually say ""DDHerb" and I are doing really boring jobs today !! I 'd rather be going to school and doing fun things with my friends !"..

I've also decided this week to add a few nice things to his lunchbox. I think he's got lunch box boredom and lots of things keep coming back whereas before he'd eat everything. I even made some carrot muffins last night for break time and put something different in for lunch today. He's made a few [reasonable] requests too so hopefully that might help !

SharonGless Mon 29-Nov-10 21:47:30

Hi herbgarden just checking in to see how school went today for your DS? Is he better at the beginning of the week?

Mine got up when I got up at 6am which doesn't help as he gets so tired but let me go off to work with just a kiss and no tears. This is a big achievement for him and I made a big deal of it. He sounds like your DS as he loves cuddles and kisses.

I have arranged for two of his class to come for tea tomorrow after school which he is really excited about. He didn't know any other children in his class when he started as he went to a private nursery - am trying to help him establish some friendships as he keeps saying he is missing his old friends from nursery.

DingDongMerrilyAsCheese Wed 01-Dec-10 11:45:38


I came on to post more or less the same thing about littlemd - and ask for advice.

It was great to hear this week tha this teachers feels he's found his stride at school and really settled but it seems to have co-incided with him turning into his own evil twin!

I'm at the end of my tether - any suggestions?

herbgarden Sun 05-Dec-10 20:43:14

Thanks sorry I 've only checked back on here again. DS has been ok, but not brilliant - I have though posted on the school thread too !He seems to be scared of the big kids now too !...oh dear. Luckily only 2 and a bit weeks to go til xmas holidays Yay !....I think we all need it !

herbgarden Sun 05-Dec-10 20:44:30

PS _ I think getting playdates sorted really helps. My ds has had successful and not so successful ones but as a parent it gives you a fairly good insight into what's going on doesn't it ? My DS won't be left on his own yet so I get to see what goes on !

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