Can we talk about lying and fantasising and telling stories in c 6/7 yr olds?

[Unprune]

So, ds is nearly 7. He has always had a bit of a tenuous grasp of reality, he likes involving himself in stories he enjoys, so, eg, his take on Harry Potter aged 5 was to 'be' Harry, telling us stories about when he was at Hogwarts and what Ron and Hermione were up to.

He still does this, only the subjects have changed: now it's MI High and Sarah Jane Adventures. I had to do a double take when I realised that some of the people he was talking about weren't actually his friends at school, but were characters in MI High. I kind of put it down to him being an only child - he has plenty of friends and interaction with other kids, and plays imaginatively, but maybe lives in his head a little because it's quieter at home? I don't know.

I never worried about this too much, until today, when one of our relatives commented on how unusual he is. And he has started lying with intent, just to add to the usual mix of spies around every corner and aliens in the bathroom.

It's getting harder to get a proper, straight answer to ordinary questions. Is it something that sounds familiar? His friends join in with his games, but we're getting more frustrated than we used to, and I worry that they will, as well, at some point.

[piscesmoon]

I would encourage him to tell you stories as in 'I enjoyed that one about aliens in the bathroom-can you tell another adventure' so that when you ask a simple question you can say 'I love the stories, but this time I want you to stick to facts and tell me what really happened. Give him opportunities for both but don't let him confuse them.

[Unprune]

Yes, that's what we do do: we don't 'allow' stories at all times because plainly he is using them as a distraction eg when being told off. We are nipping that in the bud (I hope). But it's becoming frustrating. He's a bright enough kid but he's carrying right on, trying that tack first, which is just daft when you've been repeatedly told not to.

It's almost like there's a story going on in his imagination, and if you talk to him - no matter what the subject is - that's what's going to come out first. When I was a kid, I always had a very active inner life (still do to a lesser extent) but it never spilled over into reality, it was a secret thing for me.

[piscesmoon]

I will bump it for you-hopefully someone with experience will reply.

[Unprune]

Thanks Pisces

I feel I should say he isn't constantly living in some sort of fantasy. It's just that it can take over sometimes where normality is the better choice

[MadameSin]

What's his friendships like and have school said anything about his behaviour there ?

[Horton]

I was just like this as a child. I lied constantly, to the extent of inventing whole new classmates who my mother then tried to invite round to play and failed (she couldn't find their mothers in the playground and I was forced to confess). I also lied about my family, my home, my siblings and indeed anything else that I could think of, including telling awful lies to get out of trouble (usually spotted pretty fast, unsurprisingly).

I am perfectly normal now and have been for some time (I'm 42). And I never tell lies now, apart from the 'of course I like your new
haircut' variety.

If it rings any bells, I was quite bright and very bored indeed at primary school (no extension work in those days). I think the lies dropped off quite sharply at secondary school when I had something else to occupy my spare mental capacity.

[Unprune]

Weeellllll...I'd like to say 'oh yes that rings bells, he's a genius' but though he is bright, I suspect he's well within normal range

He is a leetle bit troublesome at school, low level disruption, so boredom is quite likely.

Damn, I'm going to have to make home life more interesting.

[dabdib]

My ds is also an only child and from the sounds of it, very similar to your ds.

His cuddly toys usually get the blame as they, not him, wanted to do something they shouldn't have .

He will also start telling me stories from school which at first sound completely plausible then he goes on, exagerates a bit too much, and you realise that every word is a lie.

When we met up with other family members, he will invent stories that could be true, but aren't.

At the moment as he is only just away to turn 6, we are trying to ignore it as much as possible. Although recently I put out his party invitations and was convinced one child he wanted to come was actually made up!! I got a reply from the mother so he isn't a figment of my sons imagination, but I didn't put it past him.

[Unprune]

Aha! Yes, I get slightly taken in at first as well. The best one was where he said that the geophys guy from Time Team had come and done an assembly and talked about all the equipment - I thought - NO, but it could have been true, you never know....But then apparently he'd let a bunch of five year olds loose with the magnetic imaging equipment and they'd found a Roman fort - huh, yeah right.

We just have to be extra vigilant, I think!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Completely normal to me. Our DD, now 9.6 was best friends with a girl who sounded suspiciously like Tracy Beaker. Lived in care etc. She outgrew this once she found that behaving like the Beaker was alienating her friends.
I so recognised that dabdib, our DD had a Princess in her class telling them a story. It could have been plausible, she was at school in Thailand with a couple of minor members of the royal family. It wasn't though.