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whinging and crying all day long

(14 Posts)
driedapricots Tue 23-Nov-10 20:13:43

dd 3 years has days when she seriously whinges all day long, interspersed with cries. she cries more than her 4 month old brother! it drives me mad. has anyone any advice on dealing with it, both in terms of preventing and not reacting to it?
thanks!

SophiasTwins Tue 23-Nov-10 22:07:16

Sorry no advice, just lots of sympathy.

Perhaps she thinks negative attention is better than no attention, and so is throwing day long tantrums in the hope of getting your focus? If so maybe you could find some time to spend just with her?

My boys are not yet 2 so really unqualified to respond!

x x x

thecaptaincrocfamily Tue 23-Nov-10 22:31:58

Sounds like jealousy and if she gets a reaction it gets worse.
I would time out. Say I can't understand you when you cry, go and sit * until you calm down. Remove so she gets no attention for crying. DD2 started doing this and it worked a treat smile.
When you get her out ask why she was put in time out, then calmly say if you stop crying you can come and join us.
Combine this with lots of praise for doing the right thing. Create these by asking her to help you with small tasks i.e. put dirty clothes in the linen basket, load washer, takes pots into the kitchen etc. She needs to feel you value her and that she is helpful.

thecaptaincrocfamily Tue 23-Nov-10 22:33:42

PS avoid the temptation to use the line 'you cry more than the baby' as this will make her feel more insecure about her relationship with you and that you love the baby more than her.

thisisyesterday Tue 23-Nov-10 22:34:18

mine does that sometimes

getting out of the house helps i find! sometimes we have just been cooped up too long

also, lots of attention. sometimes when ds2 is doing it i realise that actually, it's when i have been really busy with MN the housework and i just haven't been spending much time with him
it often helps to just sit down with a box of puzzles, or some books or whatever and just try and have some fun time

Tgger Tue 23-Nov-10 23:28:34

Aw, bless.

Give her lots of attention when you can, she is probably missing out a bit with her bruv being so little.

Try to avoid situations that trigger the crying. Sometimes a quality 15 minutes or so can avoid whinging etc for the rest of the day.

My son used to drive me crazy demanding more attention than his sister (when he was 3 and she was 1), but then I figured it was just their different personalities.

Maybe in some ways she needs you more than the baby at the moment and this is her way to show you.. good luck with that- I know it's exhausting but see if you can tweak things for her

festivefriedawhingesagain Tue 23-Nov-10 23:35:19

IMHO it is just the dreadful fact of being three. My DD is a massive whinger, a lot of it is total attention seeking, as she has a younger brother who she loves to bits, but is very jealous of too.

I try to do nice things with just her, when he is asleep. Give her some 1 to 1 time if I can. Although TBH, she tends to kick off again as soon as he wakes up and it makes me feel 'AARRRGGHH I have just bored myself stupid making making snot ridden fairy cakes and you are still being a bloody madam'

Lots of gritting your teeth, ignoring minor stuff, praising every tiny bit of pleasant behaviour you can so she doesn't only get attention by being a PITA.

All easier said than done, I know. Am still undecided as to how much it helps but at least you feel you are doing somethinggrin

festivefriedawhingesagain Tue 23-Nov-10 23:35:55

Oh and I send to her preschool for 4.5 days a week, that helpsblush

thesecondcoming Tue 23-Nov-10 23:41:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SkyBluePearl Wed 24-Nov-10 17:54:28

I had this and it was driving me crazy. I ended up using timeout in a room/buggy(where ever we where)for whinging. Also started playing with my 2.5 year old and giving lots more attention when good. Worked a treat and we have hardly any whinging now.

Can you try giving your DD more attention while your son is awake. Speak in a silly voice to your son but be saying 'what a lovely kind big sister you have, can you see how nicely she has has shard her sweets with her dollies'. Or have a joke with her about the babys stinky messy nappies - or both try and do impressions of the silly baby faces your son makes.

belindarose Wed 24-Nov-10 18:28:09

My DD is much younger, but I've found the book 'The Happiest Toddler on the Block' really good for advice about toddler behaviour, including whining!

Gargula Wed 24-Nov-10 19:51:17

I was just coming on to post exactly the same problem. My DS is 3 and my DD is 7 months and MY GOD can that boy whinge.

It was his birthday today and he's had lots of presents, day out, treats but whinge whinge whinge whinge WHINGE all day long!

Ah well. At least I know it's normal.

mrspickles Wed 24-Nov-10 19:56:10

would recommend toddler taming book by dr green.
my 3 yr old dd1 became a dreadful whinger when dd2 born just after her 3rd bday, dd2 now 6.5 months, dd1 3.7 and we've just come out the other side i think, 3 is terrible age for whinging judging by most of dd1's friends !

thesecondcoming Wed 24-Nov-10 21:09:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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