Talk

Advanced search

Coping Techniques for Contrariness - Help!

(6 Posts)
swingsofglory Mon 15-Nov-10 12:33:23

DD1 is 3 going on 13, although that may be an insult to 13 year olds. Outside the house she's ususally well behaved and quite reserved. At home, she's going through a prolonged phase of stubborn refusal to co-operate in anything from getting dressed, to eating to you name it. Anything I suggest is wrong, met with shouts of no or she insists that the opposite is true when it quite obviously isn't. For example - I say 'the sun's shining' and she starts yelling about the fact that it's raining and gets REALLY angry about it up to the point where she starts hitting or biting.

I thought this was supposed to get better once they were beyond the terrible twos or is that a myth? Does anyone have any coping strategies - I've tried a reward chart for good behaviour and ignoring the contrariness as much as I can. She's undoubtedly better when I keep it together and laugh off her behaviour and praise anything good but I feel like I'm nearing the end of my tether and can feel my temper starting to go more and more often - not helped by the fact that DD2 (7 months)isn't sleeping well at the moment.

Is this just normal 3 year old behaviour? Does anyone have any tips for dealing with it?

SkyBluePearl Mon 15-Nov-10 12:56:32

insisting the oppostite is true is just a way of getting your attention. Walking away from the comments might work - showing no interest will result in them not getting the banter they expected. Or change the topic - tell her what you are planning to do later on.

thisisyesterday Mon 15-Nov-10 12:58:35

just ignore it.she can't argue unless you are arguing back

so when you say "what a lovely day" and she says "NO, it's RAINING" you just say "oh yes, so it is" and that's that.

they all do it

swingsofglory Mon 15-Nov-10 13:26:41

Fair enough. Thanks for that. I did suspect it might be standard behaviour - it's just reassuring to hear it when you feel like you're going up the wall.

Walking away does work up to a point but you're right I need to hang on in there,stay calm and change the subject.

I'll practise my deep-breathing!

Ladybee Mon 15-Nov-10 23:35:32

my DS is doing this at 2.5, thanks for the don't argue tip. Will try this tomorrow.

ghoulishglendawhingesagain Tue 16-Nov-10 10:39:36

My DD is just the same, she'll be 4 in March. She will argue from dusk til dawn given the chancegrin

Everything is wrong, all of the time. No I can't have a blue cup I like pink. No I don't want a shower I want a bath no I don't want a bath/I'm tired/I'm not sleepy/I want 3 more stories - no three Mummy, I WANT THE OTHER ONE!!!

All day. I can't wait til she can go back to nursery, she is off with general poorliness atm.

Threenager I have seen it called. Very wearing. I think just wait for it to go, and try not to take it personally.

I also find 'Oh do you think so?' and 'what do you think DD?' are quite effective replies rather than arguing back.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now